Moving to L.A.

Vista Theatre

2012-01-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, we went to see The Artist at the Vista Theatre. What a wonderful theater. Only one screen, beautifully restored, the Egyptian motif a time capsule back into pure Hollywood whimsy. I can't think of a more perfect theater to see The Artist, a modern silent film about Hollywood in the 20s and 30s. (Great, fun film, BTW.)

The Vista first opened in 1923 and it's had a rough history, according to an old LA Times article. At one point, it was a porn house! Now it's a lovely, romantic theater, a great place to have a first date. One caveat: we found their sound system a bit harsh, made worse because the sound was being played on the loud side.

Vista Theatre

4473 Sunset Dr
Los Angeles, CA 90027
(323) 660-6639

Pasadena Cheeseburger Week

2012-01-13T09:31:00.000-08:00

Pasadena is celebrating the cheeseburger next week. Why? Well, apparently the cheeseburger was born in Pasadena, way back in 1920 something...

Sadly, it's nothing more than a very noncreative way to promote Pasadena businesses. I mean, there aren't even any contests and just a handful of discounts. But I suppose it's not a bad excuse to eat more cheeseburger...

Santa Ana 2011

2011-12-01T14:45:00.000-08:00

They're calling it Windpocalypse. And it was pretty bad. This poor ancient tree was one of the victims. It lived just a couple of blocks from where I live, and yet, I'd never really noticed it before. How could I not notice such a massive tree?

Sadly, there's a BMW underneath there somewhere. The tree fell right over the garage. I don't think anyone was hurt.

Moffett's

2011-10-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

I love that SoCal still has restaurants like Moffett's. Opened in 1975, it's a time capsule back into another era. One that appreciated food like chicken pot pie. That's what Moffett's specializes in, pies from chicken to fruit. Of course they have other things like hamburgers and sandwiches, but just stick to the pies, which are single-portions of granny's-love-goodness.

Their lunch special is a particularly good deal. For around $6 you get either chicken or beef pie, gravy, whipped mashed potatoes, carrots and peas, and a choice of either a roll or biscuits. Get the rolls. Baked in-house, they're really, really good.

And before you leave, buy some fresh unbaked pot pies for your freezer. I try to keep four in mine at all times.

Arcadia too far away? If you live in Hollywood, Huntington Meats at the Farmer's Market on Fairfax sells the unbaked pies. That's actually where I first learned about Moffett's. I think the pies are a dollar or more at Huntington, though.

Moffett's

1409 S Baldwin Ave
Arcadia, CA 91007
(626) 447-4670

Bhan Kanom Thai

2011-08-26T15:50:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love most about LA is all the tiny little ethnic delis and bakeries you find tucked away in strip malls. My newest favorite is the Thai dessert specialist Bhan Kanom Thai in Thai town. The little store is an irresistible treasure trove of Thai cookies, crackers and preserved fruit, along with ice cream, puddings and freshly made pastries. I loved their rice crackers which were drizzled in caramel. Their preserved golden kumquats were fantastic too. Can't wait to go back and try more things.

Bhan Kanom Thai
5271 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles CA 90027
323 871-8030

Pasadena Air Force Open House

2011-08-20T16:02:00.000-07:00

Last June, the Pasadena Police Department’s Air Operations Section hosted an open house. We went and was impressed by how much hardware the police department so proudly displayed. Like their SWAT vehicle (in case there's a zombie attack), which was used in a demo of what the police department would do if there ever was a sniper in town. Here are some pictures.

Infrastructure Blunder

2011-08-15T21:46:00.000-07:00

So noticed there was some serious work going on out on the street today. Went to investigate and found city sewer workers out in full force trying to correct a major infrastructure problem. Seems Pasadena hired some bozo contractors who put gas pipes straight through sewer pipes. I really hope these contractors are going to go to jail for criminal negligence but I'm sure they'll just get another contract from Pasadena.

We tried to take pictures for the blog but the workers wouldn't let us. Not that we're surprised.

Artesia's Little India

2011-05-21T17:38:00.000-07:00

So what do you have to do to get good authentic Indian food in LA? Go to Artesia's Little India. We spent half a day there and had fun eating, shopping and just looking around. Little India isn't very big—just a couple of blocks centered around Pioneer Boulevard. But it's packed with restaurants, jewelers, sari houses, groceries, etc.

We ate at both Surati Farsan Mart and Udupi Palace. I thought Surati had by far the better food. Fresh, tasty, fun, Surati specializes in Gujarati street food. Although the name seems to imply that they're a market, they're really a delicatessen with a case full of pretty sweets.

In between eating, we shopped. My favorite store was Cottage Art, a kind of mini department store on Pioneer. They were having a sale on clothes so I bought this:

We ended the day with ice cream at Saffron Spot. They make their own ice creams and kulfi. The lychee ice cream was pretty fantastic.

Chong's Grocery

2011-04-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

My LA discovery of the year is Chong's Grocery. A tiny little storefront in Koreatown, Chong's makes its own sesame oil! And it's fantastic! I had no idea fresh sesame oil could taste so alive. No hint of rancidity at all. Chong's sells both light and dark oil in a variety of bottle sizes. I got the smallest, a 16 ounce bottle for $10, which is a bargain. They also have toasted sesame seeds, barley, soy beans, etc.

Warning: if you're trying to find the store, please be aware that they're on the phantom 8th street. Phantom 8th street, you ask? Yes. Because, it turns out that there are two 8th streets: the main 8th street and a tiny side street that parallels it for about a hundred feet which is also called 8th street. Chong's is on that parallel side street.

Chong's Grocery
3560 W 8th Street
LA 90005
213 387 0651

BTW, according to the Korean spelling, the store should really be called Jeong's Grocery. Just saying.

Bottlebrush Plant

2011-03-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

Amos T Fairchild

This is one of our favorite plants in LA. It's called a bottlebrush plant, but we like to call it the toilet brush plant! The official name is Callistemon and it's really a native of Australia. That's what's really wonderful about SoCal—it's just one big botanical garden. Just wish the plants had labels!

Hummingbird Rescue

2011-03-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

There was much excitement at our household today. We discovered that one of the birds on our feeder was terribly injured. It'd been sitting at the feeder for over twenty minutes, which is highly unusual, its feathers sticking out as if it'd been given a shock of electricity. I just thought it was a weird little bird until it dropped backwards and hung strangely before righting itself again. That's when I noticed that it was bleeding around its neck. Every few seconds the bird would close its eyes—it wasn't even feeding. So eerie how all the other birds were ignoring it, like they were smelling death.

Luckily, Animal Rescue very kindly said that they would come and pick up the little thing, but only after we'd safely confined it. Well, that turned into quite an ordeal. We aren't exactly experts on handling wildlife and the whole situation made us very nervous. As per a website's instructions, we put some paper towels in a small box and tried to coax the bird into the box. Nope. The bird wasn't going to cooperate. The grip it had on the feeder's leg was incredible. So we gently enclosed the bird in the box, plastic feeder leg and all.

We were hoping that the bird would relax while in the box, but that didn't happen. I couldn't believe how ferociously it was flapping its wings trying to get out. So I spent ten minutes talking to the bird while the Goldberg Variations played on the stereo. All became calm—I just hoped I wasn't literally talking the bird to death. Can't tell you how relieved we were when Animal Rescue came.

We wondered how the little thing got injured. Animal Rescue thought it was injured during a typical hummingbird fight. But I don't know. It's neck seemed to have been slashed and I thought of the cat that always hangs around the feeder, swiping at the birds. How strange that the bird was attacked on the Ides of March, the festival day of Mars (and we all know what happened to Cesare). Well, hopefully, the bird will survive to fight another day. Good luck, bird!

Jet Propulsion Lab Tours

2011-03-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

Stream videos at Ustream

After talking about it for a year, we finally went on the Jet Propulsion Lab tour! Yay--another thing gone from our to-do list! I'm glad we went, but I have to admit that much of the tour was like being stuck on a date with an Asperger's sufferer. The tour began with a rapid-fire talk that lasted something like thirty minutes touching on various historical points to do with JPL and Caltech and NASA. And then a JPL promo video narrated by Harrison Ford which was like a very bad Nova program on space. Granted, the talk was given in the auditorium which housed replicas of Voyager and Cassini, but it was a lot of tedium to suffer through. Afterwards there was a brief visit to a small museum, the highlight of which was a thermal camera you can check your temperature on, and then the actual tour.

But was it a tour? We only got to see one of the "clean rooms" where the JPL guys assemble the rovers and the "Dark Room" at the Space Flight Operations Facility. The dark room is what you usually see on TV when a launch happens--you know, the room where all the scientist are glued to their computer screens hoping against hope that their mission is a success. Today, there wasn't a launch so we only got to see about half-a-dozen bored people sitting at their desks while the tour guide talked for some ten minutes about how NASA uses UTC (coordinated universal time) because time is relative, etc. The "clean" room was fascinating though. Up high in a viewing gallery, you get to look down at guys dressed in "bunny" suits building stuff (this is what you're seeing in the video). "Bunny" suits are these all-white, anti-dust suits that people have to wear in order not to contaminate the equipment they're going to send up into space (it made me think I was touring Willy Wonka's chocolate factory because there's a similar scene in the 70s movie). Today the JPL staff was working on the outer container for the newest rover, Curiosity, which should reach Mars sometime in August 2012. At the end of the tour you get to see a full-scale replica and that's pretty cool. And I was impressed by how much the tour guides knew.

So would I recommend the tour?

If you are a Super Geek: yes.

If you are a Tepid Geek: sure, why not?

If you are a Non Geek: only if you want to impress a Super Geek.

And if you want to take a child? Man, I would definitely not recommend you take any child under eleven. I felt so sorry for these little tots as they suffered through the first forty-five minutes or so of endless talk and senseless video. During the talk, the tiny tots were fidget bombs. And during the video, all I heard was a non-ceasing chorus of small voices crying, "What happened?" This is because the video is so poorly written that you can't figure out what they're talking about when they discuss the missions. It's really a shame that JPL doesn't have a specific tour program for the very young, one that is interactive and full of fun things to do because shouldn't part of NASA's mission be geared towards inspiring little children? After all, one day these little children are going to be voting on whether NASA gets funded...

Altadena Urban Farmers Market

2011-01-18T15:12:00.000-08:00

What in the world is an urban farmers market, we wondered? Only one way to find out: drive all the way up there and check it out. Which is exactly what we did last Sunday. The market was on the grounds of the Zane Grey Estate. It was only a few dozen stalls, mostly of people selling baked goods and marmalade (we couldn't find fresh produce anywhere). The smell of manure and hay was rife (the estate has a petting zoo, which was open). The atmosphere made me immediately think of the Women's Institute (UK readers will know what I mean), with a good layer of Bay Area hippie. Even the shoppers looked transported from San Francisco. Who knew there were so many Bay Area types in L.A.?

This venture is fairly new. We couldn't find a webpage but they do have a Facebook page. On this page there is a mission statement which reads:

To encourage more local food production, and make that food easily accessible to Altadena residents. Through partnership with the Arroyo Time Bank, to make buying locally grown food possible for those with limited financial resources.

The market takes place on the third Sunday of every month. To shop there you have to be a member, but I think anyone can be a member. Basically, you sign a "membership" form before entering, but the form was just a legal disclaimer which freed the market from injury suits. If you do go, check out the cookie lady with the most amazing butterscotch cookies. She's really nice, too.

House of Basturma

2010-10-30T15:43:00.000-07:00

After talking about it for ages, we finally went to the House of Basturma in Pasadena and had a basturma sandwich!

So what's a basturma? Basturma is an Armenian cured meat that reminded me a lot of Spanish cured hams, except that it's intensely flavored with spices like paprika, garlic, salt, and fenugreek. Doing some research, I found out that basturma is found all over what used to be the Ottoman Empire and can also be called pastirma. Apparently pastirma has the same etymological roots as pastrami but the two meats are worlds apart, since pastirmas are not cooked. Armenians make basturmas out of beef or lamb, but it can also be made from goat or camel. I liked it, but a little goes a long way.

The House of Basturma's sandwich is very simple, but really good. Wonderful toasted Armenian bread, flavorama meat, two slices of tomato and voilà. The House also has lulukebabs, shawermas, koftas, soujouks, and other Middle Eastern/Armenian specialties.

I really liked the House. Clean, spacious, with super nice, relaxed owners.

House of Basturma
2487 E. Washington Blvd.
Pasadena CA 91104
626 345-9090

Chasaengwon

2010-10-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

We were wandering around Koreatown looking for parking (of course) when we found the nicest tea store in the middle of a strip mall. A branch of the Hankook Tea company, the tiny store is called Chasaengwon and it sells primarily tea from the Gwangju area of South Korea. But what I really loved about the store was the beautiful teaware they had on sale, exquisite teapots and matching cups that can tempt you into personal bankruptcy.

Chasaengwon also has some unusual food items and a small area to taste tea. Definitely worth a visit if you're in the area. And certainly a place to check out if you need to buy a gift for someone.

Pasadena Armed Forced

2010-09-12T20:07:00.000-07:00

As regular readers of my blog know, I was amazed to find out that the Pasadena police uses old military helicopters to protect its citizen. Now I'm even more amazed to find out that they have purchased a BearCat armored vehicle. I found out this little tidbit from Pasadena PIO (click here for more info and picture). So is Pasadena preparing for an explosion of zombies or something? WTF.

Church of Scientology

2010-08-19T16:44:00.000-07:00

I accidentally walked into the new Church of Scientology building in Old Town Pasadena. This is easy to do because, for all intents and purposes, the building and its lobby looks like a swank hotel. I felt really tricked. Now I'm started to get flyers from them with "I.Q" tests. Looking at all the questions, it's clear to me that the test is really for their benefit, a way of identifying to most vulnerable and lonely people to indoctrinate. Scary.

Kogi Truck at Altadena

2010-08-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

In LA, the Kogi Truck is the mother of all Korean taco trucks. Originally it was just one truck, but the trucks grew in number and they now even have a small restaurant. One of the Kogi trucks makes it out to Altadena once a week on Tuesdays so we finally decided to try them out. What an experience. We got in line at 10:33. The line was a block long. And it didn't move for forty minutes. I mean, what the hell are they doing in that truck! And the whole system was crazy. Like the line goes the wrong way around because you have to snake to the front of the truck to give your order and than snake back down to get your food. Oh, and you wait another half hour to get the bloody food after you order. Like I said, what the hell are they doing in the truck. So we got in line at 10:33 and got our food at 11: 55. Gee, just in time for the truck to close. Of course, it was a cold, damp summer night and I caught a chill waiting.

I learned two lessons here: 1. food trucks with long lines aren't really worth it & 2. if they want your name with your order, make up a crazy name or give a number so that there's no confusion (like if you're named Mike, say your name is Mickey Mouse because there's going to be a dozen Mike's all waiting for their order).

So how was the food? Pretty good. We got two tacos, the spicy pork and the BBQ short ribs, and the kimchee quesadilla.

Oh! Parked along with the Kogi truck is the Get Shaved shaved ice truck, and they make mighty fine shaved ice. We're talking real shaved ice and not chunks. Flavorings could be a wee bit better, but oh well.

The Kogi Truck is in Altadena on Tuesday from 10:30pm - midnight on 2029 N. Lake Ave. Their full schedule is on their website.

Intelligentsia Pasadena :)

2010-08-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

Yeah! Intelligentsia finally opened in Old Pasadena this morning! Went exactly at 10 to find there was already a good hustle and bustle inside. Pretty impressive as they'd only announced the opening yesterday afternoon.

The place looks great. The decor is reminiscent of their Venice Beach branch, but with more seating; the staff was very friendly, and for Intelligentsia, strangely chatty. The guy at the cash register went on and on about their strained opening and how they had the wrong cables for their cash register and blah, blah, blah. The Pasadena branch offers the usual coffee and tea selection. In addition, they're offering individual siphon coffee makers. AND they're going to start making real food, like grilled cheese sandwiches and lasagna. Probably why they have all that lovely seating. Just what Old Pasadena needed.

I also noted that Intelligentsia was right opposite Baskin-Robbins, which means that you can order an espresso from Intelligentsia and then fly over to Baskin-Robbins for a scoop of vanilla so you can make an affogato!

More excitement as we drove home: just as we drove out of the parking garage, we got stopped at the intersection by a cop on a motorcycle. WTF, we asked? Turned out there was a police escort for two large parade floats. Can this town get anymore exciting?

Caltech Does Olive Oil

2010-07-31T11:19:00.000-07:00

When I found out that Caltech produces olive oil, it was one of those WTF moments. But having toured the campus, it now makes sense. Caltech's campus has lots of olive trees with big, fat olives on them. So why not make olive oil? They even celebrate their endeavors with a Caltech Olive Harvest Festival.

BTW, Caltech also has an abundance of turtles. If you go to the central campus, you'll find tiny streams and ponds filled with turtles anxiously waiting for you to feed them. But you must not feed them because that is absolutely verboten. Sorry, turtles.

LA Highway to Heaven

2010-07-01T16:57:00.000-07:00

I have to confess I'm still freaked out by the LA highways. It's such a huge, convoluted mess, with lanes constantly breaking off into opposite directions with almost no warning. Sometimes with no warning. One moment you're happily driving along, the next, you realize you're five seconds away from missing your exit. And you're not the only one who's had this sudden epiphany — so have several of the other drivers around you and you're all now part of an ugly scrum to make this rapidly-approaching exit, which just happens to be three or four lanes away. And if you're in the carpool lane, God help you.

I'll never forget my first time. I was in Studio City trying to get to Eagle Rock. I get on the highway and I see the guy ahead of me merge past three lanes of traffic in less than a second and I shout, "Did you see what that Nut Job just did!" Five seconds later, I realize I should have done exactly what the Nut Job had done because I had thirty seconds to get to the right lane.

That's what makes LA highway driving so fantastically scary — everyone is merging this way and that, the exit lane the exact same lane as the merge-onto-freeway lane. I've been on highways all over Europe and the US — this merging thing is really uniquely Californian. I can see why so many pileups happen. You want to merge — there's the perfect spot — you start to slide in — and then you see him — the guy from the opposite lane who saw the exact same cute little spot you did, wanting to do exactly the same thing you are — disaster.

BLD Tweet A Dish

2010-06-19T15:15:00.000-07:00

When I found out that one of my favorite restaurants, BLD, has an on-going Twitter contest for free food, I knew I had to enter. I really like BLD. It's just one of those great neighborhood places where you can go for good food and good wine, where the staff is knowledgeable and friendly, the atmosphere both fashionable and relaxed, where you're perfectly free to dress up or dress down — you can even bring your kids. Unfortunately, it's not the sort of place I can go to too often because most of the entrees are in the $15-$27 range, and when you're pinching pennies, even a $6 hamburger can seem formidable.

So how does the contest work? You go on Twitter and suggest a dish that BLD might want to make for its Thursday night special. Past winning dishes have included chicken and dumplings and Moroccan tajine. I suggested that yummy Portuguese dish of pork and clams. Well, much to my surprise, I actually won. I mean, I never win anything, and I'm one of those poor suckers who enters everything. I can't tell you how many stupid hoops I've jumped through, from writing slogans for lawn mowers (we really needed one) to designing t-shirts with eco themes for a hopeless chance at a Smart car. Well, finally! Who knew all those hours of reading cookbooks would pay off!

The prize for Tweet A Dish is a complimentary 3-course meal for two! And that includes wine! I was in heaven...! Originally, I thought part of the deal was that you had to have the special you suggested, but, no, the staff said we could both order anything we wanted! BLD is just so generous. Absolutely no fine print involved. As our waiter Peter said, "We just want you and your guest to have a good time." And boy did we. The featured wine for the night was this incredibly fun, delicious white from Slovenia called "Jarenincan" (Crnko winery), an interesting blend of riesling, sauvignon blanc, and chardonnay which made for a slightly sweet flavor with the most floral, fruity aftertaste — starting off with that how can anything go wrong?

Of course I couldn't wait to try my special. I'd noticed that on the menu, the dish had become "Portuguese sausage and clams". I hadn't realized that there were two similar Portuguese dishes, one with pork and clams done in an Alentejo style, and another with sausage and clams called cataplana, which is a specialty of the Argave region and is more like a bouillabaisse with lots of seafood. BLD did the cataplana version, only with their own spin, making it more like a risotto, or, paella, I suppose. The dish was very delicious, full of flavor from the shrimp stock, and with plenty of nice heat.

It was such a wonderful evening, with all my thanks going to BLD. They really go all out to make the Tweet A Dish winner feel special, and it's that kind of graciousness which makes L.A. a fantastic town.

Reporter Gets Parking Tickets Live On Air

2010-05-29T10:37:00.000-07:00

This is what I love about living in LA! KTLA was doing a live segment about cars and this meter maid comes and starts issuing tickets — for all eleven cars!

Via Boing Boing: thanks!

Junk Trucks

2010-05-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ever since I moved to LA, I've wondered about all the junk-hauling trucks that are parked around residential neighborhoods. Usually the trucks seem to be from legitimate companies like 1-800-Got-Junk and I just assumed that they were there as cheap, if annoying, advertising ploys. But lately, I've seen trucks with more unfamiliar names constantly parked around different neighborhoods. Sometimes the trucks don't even have names on them. I was curious, but never worried. Until now. Altadenablog.com is reporting that some of these trucks are involved in crime. These trucks definitely haul stuff, but stuff that you might just want to keep, like your pipes. The operation is quite sophisticated, involving mother ships and cruisers. For a more detailed report, please go to the link above.

If I think about it, I shouldn't be surprised. Driving around parts of the SGV, you see a lot of really nice furniture on people's porches. This is something I never saw when I was living in England, the reason being that enterprising thieves will come in the night and haul anything not bolted down. You can't even leave potted plants out. Not that anything was safe in broad daylight — people have come home from work to find that all the paving stones from their driveway have disappeared. Is the SGV so different? I guess not.

Parking Hell

2010-05-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

We've had two parking tickets in three years and it's always at Silver Lake. Specifically, at Sunset and Hyperion, near Intelligentsia. I guess everyone has their parking hell hole, and this is ours.

The first time, the sign was vandalized and we couldn't read the parking times. We filed a complaint with L.A. They claimed they never got it and so we had to pay. This time, the sign was over the hill so we didn't see it. What's really irritating is that we wouldn't have gotten a ticket if we hadn't waited around for Ricky's Taco Stand to show up! (Which it never did — the ticket was for $55 so it was the friggin' most expensive fish taco we NEVER ate.) Man, some days, it just doesn't pay to leave the house. Screammmmmmmmmmmmmming my head off!!!!!!

Things I Never Had To Worry About Before Moving to LA

2010-05-10T16:42:00.000-07:00

1. Black Widows (the spider)
2. Earthquakes
3. Raging fires
4. Flash floods
5. Raccoon warriors fighting it out on top of the roof
6. Attacking squirrels
7. Packs of coyotes
8. Hellish parking in strip malls
9. Skunks who spray constantly
10. Cars that drive sideways
11. Sig alerts
12. Reverse 911 calls
13. Coughing like a TB victim due to dust
14. Having to read signs in Spanish and/or Chinese and/or Korean

Pasadena Power Plant On Fire!

2010-05-04T18:15:00.000-07:00

They were doing tests and whoops! One of the gas turbines caught fire. But luckily, it all got put out very quickly.

So...how many of us knew Pasadena had its own power plant?

Anyway, bad news for people living in Pasadena. The cost of the damage was $20 million. Does that mean the cost gets passed on to the folks of Pasadena? For more info:

Pasadena Star-News

The Market Grill

2010-05-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

I guess this is an update to my big hot dog post. The Market Grill has a lot more than hot dogs, including sandwiches and hamburgers, but it was the hot dogs that interested us because of the unusual buns. Instead of serving their dogs on the traditional rolls, The Market Grill uses homemade New England style hot dog buns. The difference? The New England style buns are split on the top and the sides don't have any crust. So it's sort of like rolling the dog in a thick slice of toasted bread.

Pretty much everything at the Market Grill seems to be homemade. The owner mans the grill and his wife makes all the rolls, which ended up being a problem on the day we went because they'd sold out of all but one roll! The dangers of making sure you only serve fresh food. I have to say the Grill's dogs were very good, the inside of the buns grilled with butter. The only complaint I had was with the dog itself, which was a bit flabby in taste. The nice thing is that the dog is around $4 and comes with a huge side of absolutely fabulous french fries. (Warning about the homemade lemonade — it's flavored with mint and artificial sugar.)

Overall, I thought the Market Grill was a great place and I want to go back soon!

The Market Grill
525 S Shamrock Ave
Monrovia CA 91016
626 303-4314
www.themarketgrillmonrovia.com

Bungalow Heaven

2010-04-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was the 21st Annual Bungalow Heaven Home Tour in Pasadena. It's an interesting tour because Bungalow Heaven is a neighborhood with a collection of over 800 historic homes, built from the 1900s to the 1930s. Many of these bungalows were prefab — you could order a kit for around $650! The homeowners here take their heritage pretty seriously. Bungalow Heaven was the first neighborhood in Pasadena to be granted the Landmark District designation, and in 2008, was added to the National Register of Historic Places.

The tickets were a little pricey, so we just walked around, which turned out to be pretty interesting. Many of the homes weren't open to the public, but had these green signs on their lawns that told you when they were built and when they were last opened to the public. I liked that so many of the enterprising neighborhood children decided to open up old-fashioned lemonade stalls — one stall had its very own chamber orchestra! All very cute.

Hummingbird Feeder For Your Head

2010-04-22T04:15:00.000-07:00

As regular readers will know, ever since we got a hummingbird feeder, I've been very fascinated by these tiny helicopters of nature. I can easily see how people spend hours staring at the feeder as bird after bird come foraging for nectar. Even as I write this post, I'm staring at the feeder, wondering who's going to pop by next. We have about a dozen regulars, each with a very distinctive personality, from Tiny to Valium (Valium is a rather jittery bird and I'm hoping the name might do it some good with a little bit of sympathetic magic). But, my fascination has limits. And the hummingbird face mask feeder is that limit. See below and maybe you'll understand?

The Gratitude of Bones

2010-04-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

Kartika Review just came out with their fabulous Home issue. OK, I am a little biased as my short story "The Gratitude of Bones" is included. But it is a pretty cool issue with tons of wonderful things to read, including essays by Asian American artists on what home means to them. To download the full issue, just click here! And please read my story and say something nice in the comments because I'm a pretty sad charity case and am not too proud to beg. ;)

Intelligentsia Update

2010-04-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

The Pasadena Intelligentsia is going to serve food! At least according to LA Eater. I think that's a great idea! Of course, only if the food is going to be good. The pastry stuff they serve at the Silver Lake Intelligentsia is pretty blah. And often stale.

Talking about Intelligentsia, I finally got to try their Venice Beach location. Having been a regular at the Silver Lake location, the VB location seemed very strange. Totally different feel and decor, which was all wood and high, exposed pipes ceiling aesthetics. The pastry counter was also much bigger and the pastries looked really good (didn't get a chance to try any :( ). The crowd was very different too. No Hipsters. Couldn't identify any writers. Very dressed up in that 90210 way. And every fifth person seemed to have those bulky SLR pro cameras around their neck (girls too). Was it Bring Your Camera To Work Day? The only thing the two locations had in common was their bathrooms — totally out of paper towels. Who had the better cappuccino? I'm going to have to say Venice Beach. I think that was the best cappuccino I've ever had.

Vietnamese Coffee

2010-04-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

It's called cafe sua da. Most happily served as iced coffee, it's a fantastic concoction of coffee, condensed milk and ice. At its best, the coffee is made at your table, using a Vietnamese coffee filter (pictured above). But in LA, it's awfully hard to find a place that does it this way. Usually, the coffee will be premade and served to you like any other iced coffee. Which means, it's hard to find a great cafe sua da (although Banh Mi Che Cali's premade cafe sua da is pretty darn good). But finally, we found a place that does cafe sua da the old-fashioned way, complete with the agonizingly slow flowing Vietnamese coffee filter! In San Gabriel, the place is Vietnam Restaurant and their cafe sua da is really, really good. Oh — and so is their food.

Update

Had traditional cafe sua da at Golden Deli — not bad (much faster filter than the cafe sua da at Vietnam Restaurant).

Vietnam Restaurant

340 W Las Tunas Dr
San Gabriel, CA 91776

(626) 281-5577

Golden Deli
815 West Las Tunas Drive
San Gabriel, CA 91776
www.goldendelirestaurant.com

Is Pasadena hip?

2010-04-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

So is Julia Child's hometown finally becoming as hip as Julia? I mean Pasadena of course. Using restaurant openings as a gauge, things definitely do seem to be chillin'. Last year, The Counter opened up on Lake. Super cool hot dog place, The Slaw Dogs, opened a few months ago. Then I heard that Urth is going to open up. And, as if things couldn't get better, Intelligentsia decided to head on over. Oh, and get this — supposedly Intelligentsia will be serving alcohol!

You know what else Pasadena needs? A really hip hair salon. And better broadband. Internet connection choices here suck (even Sierra Madre has FiOS). What's with that? Pasadena is the home of Cal Tech and JPL!!! The good news is that Pasadena is participating in Google's Fiber for Communities program (Google is going to give a few lucky communities super fast internet connection). But I'm not seeing any plans for Pasadena to change its name to Google. Is Pasadena so much better than Topeka that it can't beg? Hell, Pasadena should change its name to Larry Page. Megalomanics like that.

Local News

2010-04-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

I was in Old Pasadena yesterday afternoon and couldn't help but notice the three ABC7 News vans parked outside the Apple store. iPad fever, of course. Local news was covering the iPad launch the way network news used to cover war campaigns. Well, I suppose it is a war of sorts. The thing is, I've been noticing that ABC7 News is always reporting from Old Pasadena now. Need the Common Man's opinion about the weather? Grab someone walking through Old Pasadena. Need the Common Man's opinion on lettuce? Old Pasadena — just over brimming with Common Man*. ABC7 News used to hang out at Studio City, on the intersection of Ventura and Laurel Canyon Blvd. I used to live near Studio City. Now I live near Old Pasadena. Is there a connection? Is ABC7 News stalking me?

Anyway, if appearing on the local news is part of your Bucket List, head on over to Old Pasadena.

*Here I'm using the Old English meaning of man, a term that was not gender specific and meant person (I'm thinking we need to revive that great old meaning).

Hot Dog Fever

2010-04-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

At the moment, hot dogs are really hot in LA. Wiener specialists are opening up all over the place, introducing Angelenos to things like rippers and Chicago dogs. Not that hot dogs were unheard of in LA before this new trend: Pink's is a legend, and so is Carney's. Roughly in the same Hollywood area, Skooby's has a die-hard following. But now you have genuine altars to the dog like Fab Hot Dogs (Reseda), Vicious Dogs (N Hollywood), and, the latest darling of every LA food blog, The Slaw Dogs (Pasadena). Oh, and there's Let's Be Frank Dogs (Culver City), a gourmet hot dog stand which I guess would be a portable altar. And to remind you that we should thank the Germans for the humble dog, there are Brats Brothers (Studio City) and Wurstkuche (Downtown). No signs that the trend is slowing either — heard that Big City Dogs, which is based in Michigan, will soon be opening up a branch in Old Pasadena.

Which altars are my favorite places to worship the silly dog? Well, I can't claim I've eaten at even 10% of the hot dog joints in this town, but here goes anyway.

Carney's (8351 Sunset Blvd & 12601 Ventura Blvd, Studio City)
If you have kids, this is a fun place because you eat in a train. The dogs aren't anything special here, but they're still pretty good.

Pink's (709 N. La Brea Blvd)
Only if you're a tourist. The average wait seems to be around 45 minutes, but Pink's is legendary, having started out sometime during the Great Depression. And all the Hollywood stars seem to love getting their hit here — usually they'll send a flunky with a limo, but, hey, you might see someone worthy.

Fab Hot Dogs (6747 Tampa Ave, Reseda)
I really hate that they're all the way in Reseda. And that seating is so small. And that you can't get in ever since Guy featured it on a Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives episode. What they're really known for is their rippers — a dog that's been deep fried. Amazingly good. And so are their tater tots — why don't more places do tater tots?

Brats Brothers (13456 1/2 Ventura Blvd, Sherman Oaks)
Cozy place in Sherman Oaks with very good European-type dogs. Very friendly. Can't believe they don't have beer.

The Slaw Dogs (720 N Lake Ave, Pasadena)
They still have their new car smell, but they're already very popular. Great relaxing room with plenty of space (unless it's lunch time or Saturday night). Their menu of toppings is crazy huge, from the humble sauerkraut to kimchi, jalapenos to truffle oil. Slaw's philosophy is definitely "Pile It On!" and they always look at me strange because I'm a purist and like my dog modestly dressed — just sauerkraut and dark mustard. Probably one of the only hot dog places that do salads (which are really good). Going back to the dogs, I'd really suggest you get the natural casing dog and have it rippered. OMG. And the chili dog — Slaw probably has the best chili in LA (the secret is the Newcastle beer). Certainly in Pasadena. The nicest thing about Slaw (besides the really good food)? They treat you like good friends.

So, does LA have a dog of its own? Actually, yes. It's called the Street Dog because it came from the streets: Mexican hot dog vendors liked to wrap a bacon around a dog. Because of health regulations, you can't legally get an authentic Street Dog from a vendor anymore. Luckily, Fab does one. In any case, the story of the Street Dog is fascinating, and this LA Weekly article does a pretty good job telling it.

One last thing: what happened to the corn dog? Is it considered sacrilege for a hot dog joint to serve up a good corn dog? Because I love corn dogs.

Here's the YouTube video on Fab Hot Dogs:

The Oinkster on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives

2010-03-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

The Oinkster, one of my favorite restaurants, was finally featured on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives! In Eagle Rock, which is pretty close to downtown, they do an awesome pastrami sandwich (I think the chef got his know how from Langer's, the Pastrami Masters of the Universe). Oh — their chili fries are to die for! I love going there because the outdoor dining area is so nice and the staff amazingly friendly and helpful. Of course, they have their critics, and I have to admit that they're not always consistent (like I wouldn't ever go during their slow hours), but when they're on, the place is pretty amazing.

Here's the video, straight from YouTube:

L.A. Street Names

2010-03-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

I found this at Curbed L.A., a video about how various LA streets got their names. The info is fascinating, the delivery deathly. I have no idea what they were thinking. The narration is the worst, voices that might have well have been processed through a computer. I can't believe the National History Museum of LA was responsible — do they want to perpetuate the myth that history is deadly boring? Come on, guys, you're in Hollywood!

Anyway, thanks to the video, I finally found out how to pronounce Micheltorena Street! Hallelujah! It's me chell tor ena. Micheltorena was a Spanish governor. Turns out a lot of street names like La Cienega are named after big rancheros.

LA is an Oil Town — Didn't You Know?

2010-03-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

I found this out when, one day, we were using one of the side roads near LAX and I saw rows and rows of little oil rigs. I was like, "What? Are we in Texas?" Turns out LA produces a hell of a lot of oil. Only no one knows it. Like who would know that the Beverly Center shopping mall is an actively drilled oil field? And the famous Farmer's Market on Fairfax? I didn't, and I've logged a helluva lot of hours at both malls! There's even a building on Pico that's a complete facade — just there to hide the oil wells!

I found all this out watching a scrappy little documentary called "Uneven Terrain: Oil of L.A." So worth watching just for the shock value! I mean, LA is the third largest oil field in all of the friggin' US! So my question is this: how come LA is so dirt poor right now? Where is the money going? I feel like we're living in Nigeria! My god, even the citizens of Saudi Arabia see something from their oil revenue: no income tax, free medical and free education! All we get is a lame-ass mayor who'd rather cut the education budget than his own expenses. Oh — and the Oscars.

The Pasadena Air Force

2010-03-10T16:38:00.000-08:00

Living in Pasadena, one simply does not expect to be under siege from military-style helicopters. Night and day, they roam overhead, searchlights at maximum intensity, avidly patrolling the deadly streets of Pasadena. It would seem more reasonable to think we were all part of a big movie set. Or a video game. But, no, these helicopters are for real, used by the Pasadena police as a legitimate tool to enforce and deter crime. Yes, to deter crime. And I'm not kidding when I call it the Pasadena Air Force. The police are using actual military planes from the Vietnam War era, which they got for free from a military surplus program. Okay, they no longer have gun turrets or armor plating, but I still feel like Robert Duvall is going to pop out and napalm me. (I will give the Pasadena council points for knowing how to get free stuff.)

There are more details in "Trouble Above", a very interesting article in the Pasadena Weekly.

Rose Bowl Parade Post Float Viewing

2010-01-04T18:18:00.000-08:00

If you decide to go next year, here are a few things we learned.

1. You can buy tickets at the venue or through the website. If you buy advanced tickets through the website, it will cost you an extra $10 or so. Buying advanced tickets is supposed to save you time waiting in line at the venue, but we found out that if you go through the west gate near E Washington Boulevard, there's hardly a line at all.

2. Park-and-ride shuttles were provided at two locations but we were really glad we avoided the shuttles. The shuttle areas were such a mess, the roads surrounding them were clogged even for passersby. Instead, we parked near the venue on an off-street and walked the ten minutes. There were also enterprising people offering private parking for $5-$10. The lots near E Washington were pretty empty, even by 11.

3. Go early. We got there around 10 — by 10:30, the crowds were so thick, you could hardly move. There doesn't seem to be any attempts at crowd control at all.

Open Mic in Encino

2009-12-08T09:45:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, I read my piece "Tony Takitani" at an open mic. Sponsored by the California Writers Coalition, it was held in the mammoth Barnes & Noble in Encino. I've always thought it was great that book stores hold so many events, but there are definitely some downsides. After all, it's a sharing of private space and any event has to compete with the raison d'etre of a bookstore, better known as commerce, especially on a busy Saturday night, especially during the oh-so festive Christmas season.

Barnes & Noble decided to tuck the open mic way back in the hobby section. It was the kind of open mic where anyone who wanted to perform was welcomed. That night included a comic singer and two stand-up comedians. And a persistent Book Browser. Who kept creeping closer and closer towards the stage. While one of the stand-up comics was performing.

Maybe the browser was hoping for that unspoken social contract which says, "if I act oblivious of you, you will act oblivious of me". Or he might actually have thought he was invisible (this is LA). Unfortunately, he wasn't invisible. Especially to the stand-up comic. A confrontation ensued.

If the comic thought he'd humiliate the Browser into submission, it just didn't work out that way. This is LA. Everyone in LA is a performer. The Browser embraced his chance at improv. Jumping in with both feet, the Browser became the classic straight man and a comedy duo was born. Much to the comics chagrin.

Many thanks to the California Writers Coalition for hosting the event. They're trying to get some much needed community money from Chase so if you're on Facebook, please click on http://apps.facebook.com/chasecommunitygiving/charities/968447.

Food Poisoning

2009-11-15T10:54:00.000-08:00

Why is it that whenever I get food poisoned in LA, it's always at the American food restaurants and never at the ethnic ones? You'd think it was the other way around, with so many of the ethnic restaurants getting B and C inspection ratings, but nope, it's always at the American food restaurants. And I eat out at the ethnic restaurants a helluva a lot more too. And it usually involves beef.*

*Of course, I don't eat a lot of sushi -- that's a story in of itself...and sushi is barely ethnic anymore, sort of like pizza and spaghetti...

American Food

2009-11-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

Food and LA. I love eating here, so many restaurants, so many different kids of food, so many places to try. But when I think up a list of all my favorite places to eat, the list is filled mostly with ethnic places, usually Asian. Which leaves me surprised. Why are there so few great American food restaurants? Not the expensive, must-reserve, Frenchified or Italianized places, but the every day eating joints where you can pop in anytime for a really satisfying meal.

I do like Pann's — it's one of my favorite places and a near perfect dining experience: great Googie architecture, great atmosphere, comfy booths, nice service, good comfort food. Musso and Frank is near perfect too. And there's Langers. Greenblatt's too. And I like Milk a lot. Du-par's has a fantastic Monte Cristo sandwich and their French dip isn't bad (but their service can be pretty annoying and the other dishes ho-hum). Phillipe's is fun. The Counter burger places are great too. And Fab Hot Dogs. But now I'm starting to run out of names, and for such a huge metropolis with so many restaurants, it seems like there should be so much more.

Often, I'll end up going to a place that gets mentioned in LA Weekly and I'll have a sandwich and think, "Wow. I could be at a Vietnamese banh mi place in the SGV. The food would be 80% better and I would have spent $5 - $10 less." A lot of the good American food places tend to be very specific too: like good only for breakfasts, good only for hamburgers, nice for Cincinnati-like chili (Chili John's) etc. There should be more places like Du-par's, only much, much better with less expensive choices. And the experience shouldn't be so inconsistent or so stressful. Like at The Golden State — getting a table can get rough, and the food can be really off (I once got sweet potato fries which were mostly black from having been burnt, and soggy, which defied my expectation because you'd think burnt food would be extra crispy — I mean, if you can't get your basic side right, what's the point of existing at all?). Oinkster is pretty inconsistent too (never go during the off hours, like 4 in the afternoon). Or at Father's Office, where the food is always fantastic, but the fight-for-your-own table situation so rough, the side to every meal is indigestion (last time we went, we had to play tag-team with another desperate couple — each couple stationing themselves at opposite ends of the restaurant, ready to swoop at the first signs of an emptying spot). The same at Apple Pan. The busiest Chinese dim sum houses give you numbers. Which is showing respect and consideration for your customers. After all, hospitality is as paramount as good food, isn't it?

I'd like a renaissance of American food. Not the cute interpretations at $20 a plate, but just good, classic fare, a nice blue plate special for $5.99. Last week, I spent an hour on the web looking for a basic caramel apple recipe — what I could find were the ones that advised you to buy candy at the store and melt it (telling you to buy the ready-to-use caramel wrappers is not a recipe)*. This is why I'd like an American food renaissance.

As an aside, here's an unscientific observation. The most demanding, enthusiastic and busy LA Yelp restaurant reviewers seem to be Asian. As a correlation, I often find Caucasian diners at American food restaurants to be not very discerning. Like I was at a nouveau Swedish restaurant and everyone around me was raving about the Swedish meatballs — I thought the meatballs were hard, not seasoned very well, and the milk gravy pretty appalling (I sighed and thought, "I could be eating the meatball plate at Ikea for around $6 — I would have gotten more meatballs, paid about 20% less, the food would have been more authentic, and tastier, too [I'm not saying Ikea food is gourmet or anything]."). To add to this, when I was in college, my fellow diners and I would spend hours complaining about how truly awful the dorm food was (mostly cheap cheese on carbs). The only diner to protest was Caucasian, and she said, "This is a lot better than what I got at home." Our hearts broke for her. So I wonder. Is the Asian food here so much better because Asians grow up eating good food at home (and I mean recent immigrants)? Certainly, there are a huge number of Asian immigrants concentrated in a very small area, but if they weren't so demanding, I'm sure the state of Chinese food in the SGV would be as blah as the state of the American food.

*I did finally find a wonderful recipe at Real Mom Kitchen. The caramel is to die for. Really.

The Hummingbird Wars

2009-10-24T16:21:00.000-07:00

Now that we've installed a hummingbird feeder near our living room window, I've been able to find out a lot of interesting things about these birds. Like how vicious they are. And how smart.

First off, hummingbirds are pretty territorial. Once a hummingbird establishes a feeding ground, it's death to any and all who enter. Usually, one bird will just chase off another, but every once in awhile, it's a vicious duel. I saw a bird get slammed against our window. I felt like we were in the middle of the desert, watching a turf war for water. The sad thing is, the birds end up fighting more than they drink.

Around our little feeder, the dominant bird is a little red-throated fella I've named Ollie. Around three to four inches long, he's about the size of Nigel (who I've written about before), but totally different in character: nervous, anxious, a tad bit psycho. Ollie has an ex — her name is Matilda, an elegant ladylike thing. One day, Ollie was having a drink at the feeder when Matilda shows up. He gives her this look: "Of all the hummingbird feeders in this 'hood, you have to show up at mine." Our other regulars are Tiny and the Masked Marauder, so named because of his iridescent head and his bolshie attitude.

One morning, the funniest thing happened. I was exercising in front of the window that overlooks the feeder, doing that Jane Fonda thing where you extend your arms and move them in circles. Ollie comes by for a hit of juice and takes one look at me and shrieks, "Bloody hell! A giant bird's taken over!" I must have looked like a massive pre-historic hummingbird! He was so freaked out, doing quick flybys to see what the Big Bird was up to, sweatin' his little wings off. We have one of those hummingbird feeders that have detachable plastic flowers that go around the little tube that the birds are suppose to feed from. Ours has four flowers, two of which we can see from our living room window, and two that are hidden from view. Well, ever since I scared Ollie with the Big Bird imitation, he's been feeding from the most hidden flower in hopes that we can't see him (he's really scared of me).

Now the person who takes charge of the feeder is GD — he cleans and refuels the thing every few days. One day, as an experiment, GD took the plastic flower off the far tube in hopes that Ollie would use one of the other flowers so he wouldn't be so hidden away. So, along comes Ollie ... he goes to his favorite "flower" ... he sees that the flower is missing! In shock, he flaps his wings around ... and then, in total fury, he throws himself against the window, looks right at GD, and screams "*@#!!@#*$#@!(@#$" before flying away. He actually knew it was GD who'd taken the flower! Can you believe it! He was so furious with GD — even I've never been that mad at him! Thank god for the window or else Ollie would have thrown a punch (or whatever the equivalent bird thing is).

I made GD put the flower back, but Ollie hasn't forgiven us. I haven't seen him in a couple of days. I think the Masked Marauder has taken over the feeder. Which is fine with me because Ollie was a little too psycho for my tastes.

Baseball

2009-10-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

Confession: I've always hated baseball. I hate playing it and I hate watching it. Playing the game is excruciating (because I suck at anything where you're actually supposed to put yourself in the way of a ball coming at lightening speed — I mean, how stupid is that?); watching the game is just plain boring. But sometimes a game is more than a game, like here, in L.A. Baseball is the Dodgers and going to a Dodgers game just one of those things that you do. Especially when your neighbors offer you free tickets.

Pretty darn good tickets, too. But, as I soon found out, where you sit at a baseball game doesn't make too much of a difference. Because people are right: you don't go to a baseball game for the game — you go for the atmosphere, the spectacle. And it's hard to explain without actually going to a game. Like there's the guy sitting a row above you who gives you a napkin because he can't bear to see you making such a mess with your hot dog. It's all the people hoping and praying they'll catch a foul ball. The woman dancing up a storm trying to get on the Jumbotron. The countless beach balls flying around and the poor ushers playing tag trying to confiscate them. Why?

"Because," our young girl usher explained, "if you're playing Beach Blanket Bingo, you're not paying attention to foul balls, and if you're not paying attention to foul balls, one might just bean you, and we don't want that — I'd rather get beaned myself than have you get hurt."

"Did you hear that?" the young man sitting in front of you cries. "She'll take a foul ball for me! I think I'm in love!"

You jump, you scream, you sing, you do the Mexican Wave over and over again — and in the background there's a game going on. It's really the strangest communal event.

Serb Fest 2009

2009-09-24T14:14:00.001-07:00

It's Fall in LA, which only means one thing: ethnic festivals galore. Greek, Japanese, Korean, Asian, Serbian. Serbian? Seeing the banner blowing in the middle of downtown Alhambra, we had to go.

For a festival, it was pretty low key and noncommercial. Held last weekend at the Saint Steven's Serbian Orthodox Cathedral, it was really more like a local parish fund-raising event than a festival. Admission was only $2, which gave you access to a small food tent, a bar, and entertainment. The food was pricey, with dinners around $11, and the only Serbian beer was really from Montenegro, but the food was good and everyone was having a good time (I think we were the only people who didn't know anyone there). The festival also had a separate children's playground with bouncy castle type things -- but the admission was $20!

Here's a picture of one of our favorite items at the festival, a Serbian fruit cake that was a lot like a trifle. I guess Serbians really like their sweets because there was a whole pastry hall with a great selection of desserts from cheese pastries to strudels.

After having our fill of lamb sandwiches and dessert, we headed back down to central Alhambra and had Vietnamese iced coffee at Banh Mi Che Cali (theirs is pretty good -- they also have great French baguettes you can buy like at a bakery). Where else but in LA can you have Serbian food one minute and Vietnamese the next?

Tea

2009-09-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

Is LA a Chinese tea mecca? I'm beginning to think so. It certainly benefits from the large, discerning Chinese population. To my delight, more and more sophisticated tea shops are starting to open and here are some of my favorites.

Bird Pick Tea: In the center of Old Pasadena, this is a wonderful place to shop, browse, and drink tea. They have a nice selection of very good quality Chinese teas and very elegant teaware. But more interestingly, along the side window, there are huge glass containers of things like dried lotus flowers, roses, longan, etc. — simply steep in hot water for a healthy, delicious tisane.

The tea is served at a bar where there's a limited menu, from pots of hot tea to iced tea lattes. What I really liked was that you can order a selection of snacks, which includes delicious dried plums. With a large pot of tea, a selection of three is only $2 more.

Bird Pick is actually a chi chi tea outlet of Wing Hop Fung, aimed for the Caucasians. Even the fixtures in the bathroom are ultra chic. One big plus of Bird Pick is that they let you buy as little as an ounce, which is great if you want to try a new tea (or if you haven't been paid in awhile).

Chado Tea Room: In Pasadena and the Fairfax District of LA, Chado is a tea room where you can buy tea. They have an extensive selection of excellent teas at fair prices, but the staff isn't really the friendliest.

Haven't tried the tea room, although the Fairfax room is always tempting.

Ten Ren Tea & Tea Station: I haven't quite figured out Ten Ren. It seems to be the retail tea part of Tea Station, a tea parlor and restaurant. Fantastic teas, but a limited selection. I usually go to the San Gabriel store for a refill of Jasmine tea. Ten Ren has about 9 different kinds, ranging from ~$12.60/lb to ~$100/lb. My favorite is the one for ~$37. Unfortunately, like so many places, the smallest amount you can buy is 4 ounces. Ten Ren also has something called King's tea, a proprietary blend of oolong and ginseng. Can't say I'm that big of a fan of that one.

Tea Station itself is always fun, buzzing with a good crowd of young and old. Great tea shakes and strange concoctions. Who knew tea could be so fun!

Aloha Boba Tea House: Located in a big retail complex in Monrovia, it's one of my favorite places to relax. Order an iced milk tea, sit outside, marvel at the great view of the mountains. You can also buy loose tea, tea sets, sandwiches and ice cream. Great staff.

Some of My Favorite Things

2009-08-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well, actually, it's more like "some of my favorite places" in the greater LA area.

Tozai Plaza (15460-15500 S. Western Ave and 1741-1751 W. Redondo Beach Blvd ): This is a small strip mall in Gardena. I love it because it's like a crazy bit of everywhere. The actual structure is neo Asian, but the businesses range from a Japanese udon house (Kotohira [they make their own noodles, which they sometimes replace with packaged if they run out]) to Marie Callender's. Don't feel like udon? How about the Korean soft tofu house at the corner or the pho house next door? The strip mall seems to be particularly popular with the local police during lunch hours.

Marukai Pacific Market (1620 W Redondo Beach Blvd, Gardena): A Japanese-Hawaiian market that's for club members only. Luckily, you can get a day pass. They have great produce and meat, including beef from Harris Ranch (cut to Japanese tastes) and Kurobuta pork (amazingly good). As a bonus, there's a branch of the MamMoth Bakery inside. They have the best sandwich bread! And pretty good curry donuts. (How ironic that the only bakeries that have really good sandwich bread these days are Asian! Usually Japanese or Korean.)

BTW, Tea Station has a large branch next door: explore Marukai, buy some bread, and then relax with nice cold iced milk tea!

Regency Academy Cinema (1003 E. Colorado Blvd, Pasadena): This is one of those theaters that show second-run films. That sounds like you'll be watching movies from the 90s, but that's not the case at all. The movies are only a couple of months old. And if you go in the afternoon, tickets are only $2! Just saw Moon there and it was great! (Was it so enjoyable because I only paid $2?)

Of course, the Regency is not the Landmark (my favorite theater); there's definitely a whiff of a college film club here (without the obsessive love and care—the staff didn't even bother to frame the film correctly, so a portion was in the curtains and the credits were above the screen). But hey, $2!

Nicole's Gourmet Foods (921 Meridian Ave, South Pasadena): This is a French deli. They don't carry a huge amount of stuff (like at Monsieur Marcel), but what they do carry is fantastic, especially their selection of chocolates and dried beans. They also have frozen croissants (the kind you have to bake when you get home) and wonderful terrines and mini quiches and cheeses, and all else wonderfully French. Nicole's is so French, I found myself wanting to say "une tranche de pate"! Who would have thought you'd find a piece of France in South Pasadena!

10 Reasons Why I'm Glad To Be Leaving My 'Hood

2009-08-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

1. Neighbor who screams bloody murder at her yakky dogs and plays her music super loud whenever she wants to score (usually sometime around midnight) and hires gardeners who like to throw their garbage into our property.

2. Landlord who rivals Mr. Roper.

3. A house that stinks in many, many ways, literal and metaphorical.

4. Sirens screaming up and down Laurel Canyon, up and down, up and down, up and down...

5. Press helicopters chasing Britney Spears.

6. Police helicopters tracking down "Prometheus", the local arsonist.

7. Sun going down two hours earlier than everywhere else because of the hills.

8. The homeless man in the white van who steals water from the front yard.

9. Our Amityville ghost who keeps screaming at me, "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

10. All the honking, skidding and crashing right outside the door because idiots drive way too fast down a winding, mountain road, smashing right into the cliff wall.

10 Things I'll Miss

1. The local police officer who advised us to mace anyone who comes to the door.

2. Getting confused and saying Mt Vesuvius instead of Mt Olympus (the hoity-toity suburban development on the hill above us).

3. Arsonists who know their Greek mythology.

4. The local Country Store and the groovy, hippy guy at the counter.

5. The super nice lady at the laundry.

6. Louise and her dog Mac, who likes to kick up dirt at anyone he feels threatened by (which is everyone except Louise).

7. Having lunch out on our tropical patio and watching the hummingbirds.

8. Greenblatt's, and Milk.

9. Shopping at Bristol Farms amongst the D-list celebrities and super hot model/actors.

10. Calling Hollywood home.

Doong Ji Naeng Myun Display

2009-08-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

You simply have to go check out the Doong Ji Naeng Myun display at the Galleria Market in Koreatown. It's a huge plastic bowl of naeng myun and it's got these gigantic chopsticks wound around noodles that move up and down, up and down. The noodles look absolutely real! And the chopsticks seem to be moving by magic (although if you investigate, you see that the chopsticks are powered by a clever transparent plastic column hidden inside the waves of noodles — very Wizard of Oz). And don't forget to look inside the bowl, where there's yummy broth and all the traditional garnishes. Made me want to eat a bowl right there and then.

The display is near the check out, in front of the mounds of Doong Ji packaged noodles. And the Doong Ji noodles seem to be at a promotional price because I seem to remember they used to be over $3 but are now around $1 - $2. I picked up two packages, one for the mul naeng myun and one for the bibim naeng myun. Doong Ji is by Nong Shim, so I figure it can't be too bad. Can't wait to try them!

3250 W Olympic Blvd
Koreatown Galleria
Los Angeles, CA 90006

(323) 733-3800

koreatowngalleria.com

Update: Finally tried the Doong Ji mul naeng myun and it is good! Even comes with dehydrated cucumbers and liquid broth (the powdered ones are always unpleasant). Definitely getting more before the sale ends.

Armenians in LA

2009-08-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

I was intrigued that Armenians had such a large presence in LA. What I didn't know was that LA Armenians are from all around the globe, not just from Armenia, and that they tend to stick together in a national/ethnic kinda way. Like the Armenians in Glendale are from Iran. And the ones in Pasadena are from Syria and Lebanon. Interestingly, Hollywood Armenians are directly from Armenia, and Armenians born in the US live in Montebello.*

*Facts from Ethnic Los Angeles by Roger David Waldinger and Mehdi Bozorgmehr

Helicopters

2009-08-04T17:27:00.000-07:00

(Stats from someone obsessed with the preponderance of helicopters in the Greater LA area:

LA:

Population: 3,849,378
Helicopters: 17*
People per helicopter: 226,434

Pasadena:

Population: 146,518
Helicopters: 4*
People per helicopter: 36,629

As you can see, Pasadena has many more helicopters in ratio to people than LA: so what gives, Pasadena? (We've taken to calling the helicopters the Pasadena Air Force.)

*Helicopters owned by the police. (I bet the figure doubles if you include helicopters used by the media.)

Spring is the Dominion of Birds

2009-05-17T14:55:00.000-07:00

With spring well on its way, I feel like I'm living in the middle of a gigantic aviary. Surrounding the house, a dozen different birds zoom about, from doves building nests to small sparrowish birds fighting mid-air for precious territory, their wings fluttering against each other like a thousand swords clashing. Or perhaps they're mating. Courtship can seem more battle than love, anguish a certain hue.

For the most part, the birds ignore me as part of the useless background. And sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't be a bit more helpful. Like when I'm watching the doves squeal frantically as they carry heavy sticks from one side of the property to the other, having to rest on a lower limb to gather strength before making that last surge up to their building site. It's hard to resist helping, piling up a handful of sturdy twigs at the base of their site and hoping they'll see my act as helpful and not hostile. But it's hard to know and ignorance brings inertia, so instead, I sit on my garden chair, reading my book, finally falling deaf to the hum of birds until, from my peripheral vision, I see color and motion, and I look up, face to face with a hummingbird. Startled, I can't help yelping. The bird jumps back a foot — I expect it to fly away, but it doesn't, hovering midair, staring at me with great curiosity, a beautiful little rust colored thing — and it's strange, how I get this funny feeling I'm in a Disney cartoon and laugh as the bird flies away.

Dan Sung Sa

2009-04-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love about living in LA is Koreatown. And what I love about Koreatown is that it's vast, not just in size, but in the variety of its offerings. Department stores, florists, rice cake shops, coffee houses, bars, bakeries, restaurants. And the restaurants run from the banal to the latest exports from Seoul. In between are the time capsules, like Dan Sung Sa. Stepping into this tavern is like stepping into Seoul circa 1970s.

We went last night and had a fun time drinking lots of soju (which is the main point of going to places like Dan Sung Sa) and eating things like hagfish. What's hagfish? Some sort of primitive eel like thing, I later found out. I got it because the waiter insisted it was a much better option than eel. At first, I figured he was just trying to get me to buy a much more expensive dish, but then he told me the eel comes pre prepared from the supplier and the only thing the cooks do is nuke it. Well, just the thought of nuked eel made me blanch so I said, okay, I'll try it. Yes, it was much more expensive at around $12, but wow, it was worth it. Tasted sort of like really savory, crispy pork, and it's served with perilla leaves, which you wrap around the little pieces. The perilla leaves are brilliant because they add a nice astringent, minty flavor while taking away some of the grease. Mmm! Mmm! Good!

As we left for the night, we witnessed some great comedy at the parking lot. Two groups were waiting for the valets to deliver their cars. One very drunk guy says to another guy, "Look, Sir, your car is nowhere here. Because you didn't bring a car!" The other guy patiently explains that his car isn't at the parking lot because the valets have to bring it, but no, the drunk guy is soooo sure he knows what's going on and keeps insisting, "Sir, you didn't drive your car here! I know what's going on! See! No car! Your car isn't here! Sir, let me explain this to you! Look! No car!"

Now that's atmosphere.

BTW, I noticed on places like Yelp that a lot of people are upset by the fact that people smoke cigarettes at Dan Sung Sa. Yes, it's illegal, but you have to understand what you're getting into at places like DSS and just go with the flow. Remember, you've stepped into a time capsule. If you suddenly find the opportunity of going back to the Roaring 20s and visiting a speakeasy, would you complain that they're serving liquor?

Dan Sung Sa
3317 W 6th St
Los Angeles, CA 90020
(213) 487-9100

Trader Joe's

2009-03-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

This month, a Trader Joe's opened up in my neighborhood. I'd been to a TJ once before but wasn't too impressed. But since a TJ was now going to be within walking distance of the homestead, I thought I should give them another try. I'm glad I did. TJ, for those of you who aren't familiar with one, is a grocery chain that specializes in selling its own brands of food, everything from beers to frozen coissants, at reasonable prices. The problem with TJ is that their store brand items are totally hit-or-miss. Like their cheeses: sucks. I bought a Monterey Jack that wouldn't melt and was tasteless. Their "Parmesan" cheese crumbled so badly, it was impossible to grate, and had an icky taste. Their gyozas aren't much better: I tasted the Thai vegetable gyoza and the filling was gluey. Yuk. And I'd stay away from their toilet paper or tissue, unless you're seriously into self-harming or get off sandpapering your body parts. I dunno — that works for some people. I'm not judging.

BUT, I like their frozen tamales. Good flavor and so handy to have around. And, surprisingly, their frozen chocolate croissants work. Okay, they're really not croissants — they have yeast in it for god's sake — but they do bake up nice and crispy (although a tad greasy) and the chocolate isn't bad. I will also give them BIG bonus points because TJ included two bars of chocolate instead of a measly one (I get so upset about this, I actually joined the Facebook cause crying for the inclusion of two bars in every chocolate croissant). I also love the fact that it comes in such a tiny package (my freezer is minuscule) but bake up so big and fat and fluffy.

So, being a newbie to Trader Joe's, I have to ask: what's good at Trader Joe's? what should be avoided? Please comment!

Oh! Here's a fun video about TJ from Carls Fine films.

Pastrami Heaven

2009-03-15T11:53:00.001-07:00

Before moving to LA, I'd always thought New York was pastrami heaven. I now realize LA is pastrami heaven. In New York, pastrami is something you find in Jewish delis. And God forbid, you eat it in any other form except as a sandwich on rye with mustard. In LA, pastrami is everywhere. At hot dog stands, hamburger joints, taco eateries. And it's in everything, from burritos to double dips. A pastrami burrito? How good is that, you might ask? I have to admit, I haven't had any good examples. There's a famous one at the Oki Dog on Pico, but I couldn't see the point of it all (it was huge, with a lot of cabbage so it was like a pastrami stir-fry wrapped in a giant tortilla). Much more successful is the concoction at Oinkster, a huge pastrami sandwich on a bun dripping with red slaw and gruyere cheese.

Does that mean LA pastrami is inferior to New York's? Not at all. In fact, my all-time favorite pastrami is at Langer's. Langer's pastrami is sliced thick and framed with succulent fat — the prime rib of pastrami. And their rye bread is fantastic. I also like the pastrami at Greenblatt's, which is more like the New York deli kind, sliced thinner, a bit drier, but absolutely addictive. With Pastrami King now Pastrami Queen and Second Avenue Deli no longer Second Avenue Deli, there seems to be less and less things I miss about New York.

Swingers Coffee Shop

2009-02-01T14:02:00.000-08:00

Last night the GD and I were eating hamburgers at Swingers and we were invaded by the most gorgeous, hip young guys you'll ever see. It was Night of the Living Dead, only, in this case, Night of the Unbelievably Gorgeous Twenty-something Guys. They were too short to be models so I'm guessing they were a mix or actors, musicians, and designers. Anyway, even for Hollywood, surreal.

Swingers is the coffee shop connected to the Beverly Laurel Hotel. Because they're close to Hollywood and because they're open until 4 in the morning, they have a reputation for good people-watching, especially around 2. They're also known for good hamburgers, which is why we were there (also, almost everything else was either too packed or closed -- why is Arby's closed at 9?). The menu is huge, from breakfast to steaks, all reasonably priced. The root beer float was only $3.95, which is the cheapest I've come across. Even DuPar's charges something around $6.00. And the atmosphere wasn't too bad either. Lots of cozy booths just big enough for two, a wrap-around bar, friendly staff, grab-you-own-menus-and-sit-yourself attitude. A really fun place.

Swingers
8020 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90048
(323) 653-5858

www.swingersdiner.com/

LA's Stealth On Ramps

2009-01-18T16:32:00.000-08:00

Who would have thought you needed a map of LA highway entrances like you need a map of the stars' homes? Only in LA are highway entrances like secret nightclubs with members only passes. I'm used to highway entrances being announced with huge hoopla. I'm used to highway entrances looking like highway entrances. In LA, highway entrances come up slyly. You're on top of them before you know it, and the only way you know it's a highway entrance is because the GPS keeps screaming at you to turn left. Only then do you see a small "freeway" sign just out of your sight of vision. And even then, you don't trust the sign because the entrance is just a tiny road that looks like it's going to deadend into a private parking lot (or worse). No lights, no nothing. Just a dark curve, which, like a bad dream, merges instantly into a busy highway.

For a city that was built around the car, LA doesn't make much sense. Every nightmare scenario in my Driver's Ed class has come true, and then some. I hope Beijing looks at LA and goes screaming back to bicycles.

Me vs Humanity

2008-11-25T13:14:00.001-08:00

With the worsening economy, our neighborhood is suddenly becoming the favorite parking spot of the indigent. It's a nice, cozy neighborhood, safe to park at, but also near enough to busy traffic so you wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb. I think about what it would be like, living in your car, hoping to remain invisible enough to survive. But, of course, there's also the fear, of who these people are, how safe the neighborhood is becoming. The other day, the guy living out of his white van came up to our house and started taking water out of the outside tap. He was hostile and unpleasant. Who wouldn't be, living out of a van, having to steal water? I'm bitchy if lunch is an hour late. Still, we felt like it was a good idea to report this to the police. Our water bill is huge and theft is theft and where is that fine line of self-protection versus social good?

This morning our friendly local police officer knocked on our door and lectured us on safety: pretend you have a dog, don't confront strangers, don't give out information, always lock the door, don't hesitate to use pepper spray, etc. He'd worked on Skid Row for a number of years and knew all the scams. His message was clear: no good deed goes unpunished. Therefore, do not feed the indigents. Do not show kindness. It made me think of the Luis Bunuel film Viridiana, where a virtuous, kind young woman opens up her house to the homeless only to be despised and raped by the very people she was trying to help. But, isn't the counter-weight to that George Orwell's Down and Out in Paris and London? Orwell will forever change the way you look at the indigent.

I guess even kindness is complicated. And I started thinking about living in New York and that time a middle-aged businessman came up to me and asked me for money. He had a sad, if unoriginal, story. He was at Rockefeller Center and lost his wallet — he thought someone had stolen it. He needed to get home to New Jersey. Would I lend him the cost of the train ticket home, because he would mail me back a check as soon as he got home? Of course I knew instantly I was being scammed and on most days I would have walked quickly away, my hands firmly gripping my should bag. But this time, maybe my blood sugar was really low, I started thinking: was I really 100% sure? Wasn't there a 1% chance that he was telling the truth, and I, as a human being, should help this person out? So I went to the nearest ATM and withdrew the money, money I, as a poor freelance fact-checker, really needed myself, and even gave him a subway token to Penn Station. The man looked at me with wonder and what looked like pain in his eyes. Strangely, I didn't feel conned, I didn't feel stupid. I had this firm belief that I had done the right thing. I suppose, in the end, what I was really betting on was my own humanity. After all, we are scammed and conned every day, by big conglomerates, local businessmen, insurance agents — let's not even start with politicians — and it's so hard to find a way to go against this tide that seems so universal and so timeless. To say, hey, can't we be better than this? And maybe (probably a small maybe), the man, seeing my humanity, was confronted with his.

Interstate 5, The Adventure Never Ends

2008-11-19T11:39:00.000-08:00

I knew we weren't in Kansas anymore when the guy at the Starbuck's counter looked at us and shouted loudly, "Cappuccino? That's fancy drink. Where are you guys from?" We'd stopped off the I5, just two hours north of LA. I forget that LA isn't just different from the rest of the US — it's different from the rest of California. Yes, we were only two hours away from the heart of the metropolis, but we might as well have been in another country, like Texas. The differences are cultural and physical. LA is Democrat country where declaring yourself a Republican can be dangerous to your health. I was at a birthday party where the poor lone Republican was slaughtered and eaten alive. Well, after the last eight years, the Democrats were pretty hungry, but still, I'd never seen anything so savage. Or funny. But just north of LA, things might not have been so funny if the situation had been reversed and it had been the Democrat announcing himself among Republicans: Kern, Kings, and Tulare counties, where cappuccino is fancy drink, are McCain country and as red on the map as blood.

Leaving LA, you can feel the drama of change. LA is all mountains and hills, twisty bends, little canyons and creeks hidden in the crevices of the metropolitan landscape. To get north, you have to take the I5, traveling up and up the mountain passes, the incline so steady, you're at 4,000 feet before you know it, wondering how it suddenly became so foggy and then slowly understanding that it's not fog that has you all cottoned up but clouds. The slopey mountains don't feel like mountains at all, maybe because they're so devoid of trees or anything that give the illusion of height, not even the craggy points you expect out of mountains. And in November, not a sign of snow. Instead, the mountains are covered with pale scrub that resemble heather in the Lake District of England. More dislocation of the senses. It's odd to see a vast lake so far below you.

When the mountains disappear, so does the county of LA. This is where the I5 sadly narrows to two lanes, the landscape of McCain country straight and flat like any dogmatist's thinking. From the I5 you don't see cities but hundreds of miles of farmland, orchards and vineyards, and what you smell is the toxic fumes of manure and cow feed. Occasionally you'll see the cows, thousands of them reigned in tightly together, the dust from the cow feed suffocating the air.

On this stretch of the I5, it's the trucks that make the drive hard. You can never stay in the right lane for too long, trucks and haulers of all varieties doomed to the right lane by law, 55 mph their top legal speed. The rest of us are allowed 70 mph, which, naturally, translates to 80 mph. Cruise control in this situation is pretty nigh useless and you just have to sit back and admire the sights passing by — the maroon Peterbilt with its chrome reflecting all the headlights, the sleek fiberglass yacht being gently hauled to new owners — and hope that the next time a trucker starts dozing and almost runs you off the road, you don't freak and forget to honk the horn.

It's when we got hungry that we missed LA the most. In terms of food and rest stops, the I5 is pretty desolate. What you get are small islands of In-N-Outs, McDonald's, Starbuck's, an occasional Foster Freeze. The most exotic sight is Joe's Travel Plaza, the Vegas of truck stops, but that goes by pretty fast and then it's the same cycle of In-N-Outs, McDonald's Starbuck's ... until you hit Coalinga and the Harris Ranch Inn & Restaurant, where for your convenience, you'll find a 2,800 foot landing strip and self-serve 100 LL Aviation Fuel (available 24 hours a day). Steaks start around $28 and you can chose from three restaurants, the bar, the formal dining room, and the family room. The best thing about Harris Ranch? Since we didn't have a jet, we'd have to say the nice cold Sierra Nevada Pale Ale on tap, which after a long drive is always nice.

I5 Vitals

Time to drive from LA to San Francisco: approx 6 hours with no stops

Guide to the I5: use the excellent website Drive I5, which includes road conditions as well as exits and services info

For Northbound exits and services, click here.

Southbound exits and services, click here.

Plaza Mexico

2008-10-07T15:58:00.000-07:00

When you step into the mall that is Plaza Mexico, it's a little like stepping into Mexico itself, although I imagine you'll see more Caucasians in Mexico than we did at the Plaza. At first, I thought it was amazing to have something like this in the greater LA metropolis, but then the more I thought about it, the more weirder it seems that there aren't more places like this. After all, LA has a sizable Mexican community. After all, this area was Mexico not too long ago. But I don't suppose Americans like to think of that. Native Americans seem to get more respect than Mexicans these days.

So what's Plaza Mexico like? The courtyard is fancy, with a fountain and a carousel. There are several buildings, but the main one is a cavernous mall with stall after stall of tiny shops, most of them selling food or, strangely, children's clothing. The food stuff was pretty diverse, from cactus tortillas to all kinds of pickles. I think you'd have to spend a week inside to get a true feel for what's there. Unfortunately, we'd just had lunch so the only thing we tried was an ice cream bar at La Michoacana, a small ice cream store. It was all very interactive because you choose the flavor of the bar, which, I think, was made from milk: mango, vanilla, chocolate, etc. The bar then gets dipped into melted chocolate and rolled around in your choice of dipping mix, like peanuts, coconut flakes, or sprinkles. It was a nice break from frozen yogurts.

I wish the Plaza was a bit closer to L.A. Here are the vitals.

ADDRESS

3100 E. Imperial Highway
Lynwood, California 90262
Tel. (310) 631-6789 (310) 631-4989

HOURS OF OPERATION

Monday through Saturday, 10:00am - 8:00pm and Sunday, 10:00am through 7:00pm

LA puzzles

2008-10-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

There are certain things I just don't get about L.A.

Like why do restaurants close so early? Some close at 4 p.m., others at either 7 p.m. or 9 p.m. And this even on a Saturday. Is there just too many restaurants? Do people in L.A. really eat dinner that early? Or do they skip dinner and just go straight to bars and night clubs? This is true even in Koreatown, where restaurants close at 9 p.m. or 10 p.m. In NYC, Korean restaurants don't close until midnight -- quite a few are open 24 hours a day.

And what's with the curbs? Every time I get out of the passenger side of a car, I have to make sure there's enough room for the door to open. About 40% of the time, the curb is way too high for the door. What's with that?

And where are all those missing dots over the "i"s? Angelenos, have you noticed that many of the street signs are missing the dots over the "i"s? And there's no pattern. Like the signs for Pico. One sign will have the dot, while the sign a block away doesn't have one. So what gives?

Fab Hot Dogs

2008-09-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

I think I'm in love with Fab Hot Dogs. And as with all obsessions, I don't think I'll be able to rest until I've tried every single item on the menu. Thus far, I've only tried two: their famous The Bald Eagle and their Polish Firecracker dog.

The Bald Eagle is a ripper smothered with Fab Hot Dogs' homemade mustard relish. A ripper, I've come to understand, is a deep-fried hot dog. What more do you need to know to start salivating? And it isn't at all greasy or OTT. What you get is a very hot, crunchy, juicy hot dog. And Fab's mustard relish is, well -- fab. I can't imagine eating the ripper without it.

The Polish Firecracker is an extremely spicy polish sausage. I had mine with sauerkraut and it was delicious. They also have a non-spicy polish sausage, which I'm sure is just as good.

As much as I love the hot dogs, what I'm really looking forward to getting on my next visit is their tater tots. The table next door had a heaping serving -- it looked just like the tots of my dreams: small, crunchy, roly-poly, golden brown. So why don't more places serve tater tots?*

BTW, Fab also has hamburgers.

Here's their address.

6747 Tampa Ave.
Reseda

*Had the tater tots. OMG. Soooooo goooood......!

More Java

2008-09-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to add one last item to the cafe landscape. In the SGV, you can find Vietnamese cafes which have an atmosphere all their own. The clientele is almost exclusively Vietnamese and male. You'll find people playing cards and mahjong. Lots of TV and computer screens, mostly for online gambling. Cigarette smoke. At each table, you'll find forms to play lotto. The bathrooms aren't as clean as you'd like. And you can order really good Vietnamese iced coffee.

The Java Dance

2008-09-10T10:39:00.001-07:00

Coming to LA, I was a little surprised that it was mostly a land of Starbucks and The Coffee Bean. If you want to get a good cup of coffee, you kinda have to work at it. Here's some of the places we like.

Intelligentsia
3922 West Sunset Boulevard

Located in Silver Lake, it's one of our favorite places. It would be our favorite place if it wasn't a twenty minute drive. If the parking situation wasn't pretty bad. If they weren't always so crowded. If they didn't close so early. What we do like is that the coffee is individually made in a Clover machine. I'd pass on the teas, though. And I didn't really like their hot chocolate, either. But you can pick up a cute t-shirt here.

There's also a great cheese shop next door that has sandwiches, so you can get a bite, sit outside Intelligentsia with a cup, and enjoy a sunny day.

LA Mill
1636 Silver Lake Boulevard

Also in Silver Lake. Great coffee. I actually had a cup with no sugar, no milk. Only, it's really a restaurant and no one can figure out if you can sit down with just a cuppa. (The food is okay but pricey.) The atmosphere is a wee bit formal and at least one person has told me they're too intimidated to go in. They do have their own parking.

Groundwork
Several locations: we always go to the one at 1501 N. Cahuenga Boulevard

For us, a Sunday morning isn't a Sunday morning without a trip to the Hollywood farmers market and then a relaxing cup of coffee at Groundwork. The atmosphere isn't much, the service can be slow and frustrated, but the coffee is good and very cheap. Unfortunately, if you get just the regular coffee, it's not individually brewed. There's a table with a selection of coffees in big containers that you choose from. In the mornings, that's okay. The coffee is fresh. But in the late afternoons, the coffee isn't so fresh... The selections are nice though. I like the Angel blend, which is organic, and the Viennese Melange.

(I guess Groundwork is a little upset about Clover being bought out by Starbucks because they threw out all their Clover machines and now they have a drip system for their more expensive coffees. They even had a sign on their drip station that read something like, "This is our new Clover!" Only, I think it was something a bit more angrier.)

Aroma Coffee
4360 Tujunga Ave (Studio City)

One of our favorite cafes. Staff is friendly, good food, lovely outdoor place, good coffee, iced tea, lemonade. Just a great place to hang out. We'd love to make this our local. Oh -- if you go, check out the Portrait of a Bookstore which is right next door. Great books and great gifts. I got a bag made totally from buttons there. Buttons.

Now the thing about most coffee shops and cafes is that the atmosphere is pretty blah. If you want atmosphere, we're finding you have to go to Koreatown. Yup, Koreatown. Of course they make you pay for the atmosphere: mediocre coffees and overly sweet teas cost around $6.00 - $7.00. But where else can you have coffee in a building that looks like a ship? I'm talking about Cafe Jack.

Coffee, tea, live music, waiting staff in sailors' uniforms. Hey!

Another Koreatown cafe we liked was Cake Salon Bosco. Totally different to Cafe Jack. Stylish and quiet, they offer good fluffy confections like the scrumptious sweet potato cake.

And we also liked Heyri, mostly because of their outdoor space, which is pretty big for L.A. Large tables, pretty lights, palm trees, and on cold nights, wood-burning stoves dotted everywhere. They even provide red blankets if the stoves and heat lamps don't do it for you. We had hazelnut latte and a strawberry cake, both pretty good. One thing I found unusual for a late-night Koreatown joint was the median age of their clientele. There were just as many older Koreans, both women and men, as young high school kids.

Cafe Jack
508 S Western Ave

Cake Salon Bosco
3465 W 6th St Ste 80

Heyri
755 S Hobart Blvd

More Zany Observations

2008-08-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

Women aren't afraid to show their bosoms before noon while shopping at Ralph's.

You can run a successful business without knowing a word of English.

The Santa Anas are scary.

The Target underground parking in Hollywood is Hell Mouth Central. Other branches: the Whole Foods parking lot in West Hollywood and the Whole Foods parking lot near the Farmer's Market. Actually, any Whole Foods parking lot in LA.

Johnny Rockets can run out of hamburger buns.

There's a casino in Torrance.

Fichus trees are creepy -- I hear them weeping. Wasn't at all surprised to find out that their roots do battle with the underground plumbing.

The UCLA dental clinic has a great supply of recent New Yorkers.

Every time I see Johnie's Coffee Shop on Wilshire, so empty and forlorn, I get sad ... please, someone buy it and restore it into a groovy, kick-ass place with great coffee. And pastrami. And corn dogs. And macaroni and cheese. And chocolate phosphates. And ...

Gardens and Martinis

2008-08-03T17:15:00.001-07:00

Yesterday GD and I decided to finally visit the Getty Center. Wow do they have a big underground parking garage. Wow does it become an inferno. We paid $8 to park and it took us something like ten minutes to find parking (admission to the actual center is free though!!!). It was Saturday. I'm surprised we didn't get into an accident. The corners around the lot are tight, and people don't drive so well. Especially people in very large SUVs. After we parked, we were automatically channeled into a line for the tram that goes from the parking garage to the actual center. The line was huge so we decided to walk. Uphill. In the heat. Only advisable for people who like to hike. It took us about fifteen minutes. I have a lame foot and was not really prepared. I imagine most people can do it in less than ten. Great views though!

It was such a nice day, we decided to skip the museum and just roam the gardens. The gardens were smaller than we'd expected, but not at all disappointing. We really liked it. Especially having visited so many English gardens, we appreciated all the little jokes, like the miniature central maze you can't enter. At first I thought -- Saturday! -- not such a good day to go with mobs of people! But it actually enhanced the Central Garden experience, which is so contrary to the usual museum experience. The Central Garden is a series of concentric circles. To get to the center, you have to walk around, the paths sort of crisscrossing. From a vantage point, you see the constant stream of people being used as part of a moving garden sculpture. Pretty cool! The actual plants and their arrangements were pretty cool too! Sadly, the maze wasn't in flower, but that gives us a good excuse to go back.

There's also a cactus garden, which can't be missed. Sadly, again, you can't go in.

We ended our day across town at Musso & Frank for martinis. Our idea of the perfect end to a perfect day. Musso & Frank in Hollywood is, of course, legendary, for having once been THE place for movie stars to dine. Movie stars like Gable and Stanwyck. Since it was our first time, we sat at the bar, which we decided we'd always do because it's just so much fun. I was surprised by how many regulars they had -- that's just so nice for such a legendary institution. I thought there'd be an atmosphere of dust and decay, with most of the customers being curious tourists, but not so! There's still quite a bit of life there. I'd also heard that the staff can be mean, but I found the staff really nice. Well, one more reason to stay in L.A.! I actually like living in the Hollywood area, except for the crazy traffic and all the noise!

BTW, the Musso & Frank martinis are just as good as they say. I really like the fact that they deliver the martinis in a little bottle with ice. That keeps the drink nice and cold! Why don't more bars do that? Our waiter, Manny (sp?), served the drinks with such flourish, it was worth the price of admission! Not that it was expensive. The cocktails were all reasonably priced, the martinis at $8.50. (Food is a lot more.) Try getting even a decent martini in London for that price! We also had a Welsh rarebit. Very different from the British variety. The Musso & Frank's rarebit was a cheese sauce served over toast points, with a garnish of very crispy bacon. $15.00. In Britain, a rarebit is almost like a souffle. There's eggs and cheese (usually blue cheese), sometimes port, poured over bread and baked in the oven until the whole thing gets nice and crispy. You'd think the LA version would be the OTT one!

The People

2008-07-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

Since coming to LA, I've slowly been getting to know the people. What are they like?

Pros

For the most part, they're very friendly. Especially in Pasadena. Actually, it's scary how friendly they are in Pasadena. Don't go into The Container Store in Old Town unless you want an hour chat with the staff. In the Northeast, no one talks to you unless they know you. Here, everyone is your best friend. Like you're standing in line to buy some rotisserie chicken -- suddenly you and the girl next to you are chatting maniacally about Cyndie Lauper. You haven't talked about Cyndie Lauper in years. Why are you even talking about Cyndie Lauper? You're being fumigated with the smell of rotisserie chicken. Get out of there! But you can't because you've got your new best friend. I guess standing in line in LA is sort of like face-to-face online chatting. Easy come, easy go.

Cons

People in SoCal talk loud. Real loud. And they're standing right next to each other. They also don't seem to have a good understanding about boundaries. Like private property boundaries. You'll find old women spreading out the contents of their purses on your car. Your landlord pops up anytime of the day, unannounced, usually while you're eating, wanting to talk about taking pics of caulking. Yes, caulking.

"You have a camera? Great. Come and take the picture now."

Who cares that you're right in the middle of lunch. He had his -- what does he care about you?

He even pops over with a friend, scaring the daylights out of you as you work outside on the secluded back porch, just so he can show his friend how cute the porch is.

You couldn't have knocked?

"Don't worry, dear. We won't bother you at all."

You're bothering me now!

You begin to think of him as The Creep Man. You're even thinking of putting him in your graphic novel. He'd be the perfect poster child of the Pain-in-the-Ass Guild.

Then there's the neighbor who lets her dog wander in and out of other people's backyard. Including yours, which the dog likes because the dog was once a stray that used to hang out near your house. So it lingers and lingers and lingers. The dog wondering if the owners who dumped it near your house will ever come back. I miss you. (Whine! Whine!) And you wonder if that's the dog who was responsible for the dried up shit you found the other day near the car. Which is better than fresh.

Addendum

About Pasadena being so friendly? The exception is the Gamble House. Totally different creatures there.

Renting in Los Angeles: Just the facts, Ma'am

2008-07-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

Since August is just around the corner, here's a warning. August is probably the worst time to look for a rental in LA. I speak from experience. August is bad because that's the time families move to be closer to their children's schools. August is bad because that's the time hoards of university kids come to look for fall housing, usually with parents who are more than happy to pay $3000 a month for their children's comfort. This means rents are at their highest. Around December, I noticed similar houses were being listed for several hundred dollars less.

Going online with Craigslist and Westside Rentals seems to be the most popular way to look for a place. Craigslist is free and anyone can use their listings. Westside Rentals isn't free and not nearly so accessible: you have to be a member, and the basic membership plan is $60.00 for 60 days. A lot of the rentals will be listed on both sites since Westside Rentals doesn't charge people to list their rentals. We tried both and we couldn't find a clear advantage to either. So you might as well try the free one first.

I love the fact that even the shabbiest place in LA has a provenance. The Fleetwood Mac couple lived in ours -- and they didn't have a happy marriage -- I swear I can still hear their arguments. Be careful. There are a lot of strange rental situations around, people living under you, beside you, in a corner, down a cavity -- all sharing your washing machine. And landlords are never just landlords. Ours is an ex-graphic artist, ex-magician. And they can have a real inflated ego when it comes to their rental properties, usually because they've invested a part of themselves in the air conditioning unit they've picked or the new taps they've put in. Sometimes you just want to say, "Hey, it isn't all that!" But don't. Smile, be courteous, show up to appointments on time, look interested, and find something nice to say about what you're looking at. Remember -- they're selling their apartments but you're selling yourself. It's just like a job interview.

If you've never been to LA, keep in mind that LA isn't like most cities. You don't have good neighborhoods and bad. You have good streets and bad. And often, they're right next to each other. Sometimes, the good and bad are split right through the middle of the street. Sometimes, the good and bad alternate house by house. So unless you really know LA, you have to visit each building, each neighborhood to see what you're getting into.

Here's a not-very-thorough rundown of some of the neighborhoods.

Downtown: I'm mentioning it first because it's in the middle of being revitalized and getting continual buzz. I'm not sure if the buzz is justified or if it's just a media campaign by people who need to make their money back. But anyway, if you like urban living and would rather live in NYC, Downtown is for you. To get more of a feel for the Downtown lifestyle, try going to Angelenic or blogdowntown.

Silver Lake/Echo Park: It's an interesting mix of wealthy executives, artists, musicians, and hipsters. The only location of Intelligentsia is here and it's becoming the Grand Central station of Silver Lake. Echo Park used to be a working-class, Hispanic neighborhood. Sadly, many of the old residents are being moved out as more and more streets are becoming gentrified. But you'll still find gang activity. A really nice feature of Echo Park is the park with the large lake and man-made water geysers that shoot up high into the air.

Westwood: UCLA, frats, Stan's Corner Donut Shoppe. What more is there to say?

North Hollywood: Not anywhere near Hollywood. It's actually in the San Fernando Valley, where it's hot. Really, really hot. Like 100 degrees in the summer. In 1997, NoHo (as it's known) was the scene of an infamous bank heist. There's also the Arts District with more than 20 professional theaters. In generally, we find the area a little dull. Sorry, NoHo.

Studio City: Also in San Fernando Valley. At its heart, it's a huge strip mall, but a fun one with lots of little stores along Ventura, like the Big Sugar Bakeshop. Nice suburban streets full of nice, comfy houses, too.

San Gabriel Valley: Where most of the Chinese seem to live! Great Chinese and Vietnamese food here, and at great prices! Eat well and prosper.

Santa Monica: You'll find a lot of the alternative health industry here. And the homeless. It's also generally several degrees cooler in the summer.

Venice Beach: There's the beach, which is fun for people watching, and there's Abbot Kinney, a street lined with expensive boutiques.

Here's a list of websites that will give you a good feel about moving here.

LA Weekly
LA Curbed
LA Racked

Good luck!

The Flora

2008-06-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

The smell of jasmine lifting the night air.

Large spikes of petals falling to the ground -- realizing that the white spikes are from the giant banana trees surrounding the house. Laughing because banana trees do have flowers and they're not just something you found in a can stocked at a Thai grocery store.

Orange trees, avenues of swaying palms -- if you're new to these things, it's as if you're experiencing a fresh awakening of the senses, as if a part of you had only lived in words and pictures and you've suddenly become whole again. That the world has become real.

Gay For a Day

2008-06-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

A great week to be in LA! First there were the local elections. Like returning heroes, we were hailed with great cheers as soon as we stepped into the polling arena. That's how desperate they were for voters. Very Battle of Thermopylae. Nothing really to vote for — just the White supremacist to vote against. And Propositions 98 & 99 (I won't go into the details because it's the usual political bullshit). Our local polling station is at The International Cinematographers Guild, which is a pretty cool place to vote. Cinematographers are so underrated. To reward ourselves for participating in local politics, we ate a great burger at The Griddle, which is just a block or so over from the Guild, took a long walk on Sunset Strip, and then rewarded ourselves once again with a great frozen yogurt at CeFiore. We're a little worried about them because Pinkberry is about to open right next door and we're not sure how they're going to compete against the Pink bulldozer. Must blog about the different frozen yogurt places.

To go back on topic, our momentous week ended with LA Pride 2008. According to the website, it's the largest pride event for pretty much everyone who isn't hetro. We didn't go to the Festival since the tickets were $15 each but we did go to the parade today. Thus we were gay for a day.

Highlights?

The weather. Absolutely amazing: around 80 degrees with a cool, constant breeze. The street was tree-lined, so plenty of places for shade.

The crowd. Laid back and ready to have mild fun. Some men even came dressed for the occasion, although seeing flabby buttocks framed in leather is never pretty. Luckily, the guy in the all-body netting was pretty fit. Leave it to the pros, boys.

The parade participants. Absolutely game for anything, including a little innocent S&M. At times I felt like I was part of a fertility rite with all the big boobs (mostly fake) and gyrating males in bikini briefs and thongs. In contrast, there were The Politicians. I've always thought it was too bad that they make up about 25% to 35% of all parades. All they do is ride antique cars and wave. Next year, maybe the Pride people can insert them into some of their more interesting displays? There must be enough creativity in Hollywood to fully exploit the potential.

Dykes on Bikes. Probably the most popular parade attraction. Lots of vintage motorcycles, leather and women gilded with chromed testosterone.

And there were freebies galore! I got a Carmen Miranda t-shirt (a promo for the DVD releases), a necklace of chili beads from Chipotle, free water and a CD from the Abbey, a yogurt smoothie and some tiny Larabars from Whole Foods (the Larabar lemon bar was great!), and other miscellanea.

Political Action. The Obama contingency came down the parade route amongst enthusiastic cheer. Until they hit our block. A guy near us started screaming, "Hillary! Hillary! Hillary!" with his thumbs down. This was the guy who'd been cranky the whole time and I thought, "Yup. Figures. The cranky guy is the Hillary supporter. No wonder we lost."

The Audition

2008-05-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

People think LA is Hollywood and Hollywood is LA. I certainly did. But it's more like the Town & Gown phenomenon in Oxford, England. Yes, you see all the impressive University of Oxford buildings, and you see the students and the dons, but unless you're part of the University, you have very little to do with it. A great part of the city of Oxford is distinct and separate from the University. Well, it's the same in LA. Unless you work in the entertainment industry, and most people don't, Hollywood has very little to do with you.

But Hollywood does touch you in unexpected ways. For instance, there are so many D-list celebrities milling around -- eating vegan plates at cafes, shopping at Bristol Farms -- that everyone looks vaguely familiar, like you went to school with them but didn't ever really talk to them and can't remember their names.

And you catch people auditioning. Like the guy taking my order at Aroma Coffee in Studio City. Blond, average height, stellar smile, very good-looking face. He glistened, seduced, flirted, charmed. So in the Zone -- until a co-worker mocked him in a sing-song voice. Flustered, he dropped the ball and forgot the lines. Bad co-worker. I was really enjoying the performance. This is what makes LA the most entertaining place on earth.

Not that you don't see this kind of behavior elsewhere. You see it frequently in Paris. But while in LA this is an audition, in Paris, it's life. Like the guy selling foie gras in a make-shift shop, late in the evening, snow falling on the streets of Ile St Louis, Noel scenting the air. The shop was really a tent in between two buildings. That was strange in of itself, but to see this guy: fine, noble features, lean build, long, dead-straight blond hair tied back into an elegant ponytail. He was selling foie gras with his mouth, but listen to what he was saying with his blue eyes: "You only have to lead the way..." Right out of Maupassant, le bel ami, the snow, the old cobbled street. And none of this for my benefit. For him, this was life.

Back to LA: while some people are auditioning, others are auditioning you. The eyes staring at you intently, picking you up, dangling you in the light, discarding you. Like the time I was at The Container Store. This guy, mature Hollywood type, evaluating me at all angles. He signals to a well-groomed woman. She too evaluates. In five minutes, the audition is over.

L.A. Cracks Me Up or Maybe It's Just Cracked

2008-05-02T16:42:00.000-07:00

There are times LA really cracks me up. Pretty much anything goes. Like the mall that's designed to look like an Assyrian castle. Or the drag queens manning the registers at the supermarkets. You have New England style houses right next to Spanish villas. Billboards billow smoke. And where else can you see a Veyron getting ticketed? The other day I saw this old woman driving a 1970s Rolls Royce -- she was dressed in a Chanel suit and had perfect 1960s hair and makeup. It was like something out of an old movie! And there are these huge ethnic enclaves where people don't speak English -- it's like teleporting into another country. These are the times when I'm luvin' LA.

And then there are times when I'm baffled and perturbed. Like when I'm watching the news and I being to wonder if someone hasn't flipped a switch and I'm now in a parallel universe where LA has been sucked into some kind of post-apocalyptic spoof in the lines of Starship Troopers or Idiocracy.

In this LA, planes fall out of the sky. All the time. Kenneth Wyatt was watching TV and boom! Plane smashes down next door. It's his second neighborhood plane crash. News just isn't news without a plane crash.

In this LA, you need to declare cease fires. I thought you needed a war for a cease fire. Is this LA or Iraq? California or the Middle East? The sheriff's office sends their officers out in full combat gear. With a tank.

In this LA, bank robbers still fly the Wild West flag. It's only a matter of time before you get involved in a bank robbery. Recently, a getaway car got spotted by the police. Mayhem ensued as the bank robbers started throwing money out the car window like some cheesy Burt Reynolds chase film.

This might be chicken or egg, but I sometimes wonder if all this violence isn't because of the LA police. They look very fascist with their black uniforms and mostly black cars. Maybe they could go Tiffany blue — blue is very calming and Tiffany blue has a nice place in my heart. And they need to be calming because they're everywhere. I've never seen so much police. And not just the LA police, but LA County sheriffs and the highway patrol. But instead of feeling comforted and secure, seeing all this black makes me feel creeped out. There's authority. And then there's Stasi. I have a feeling I'm not the only one making this connection. Yesterday, for the May Day immigration rally, the police were on bikes, dressed in purple! A really nice shade, I might add. They looked a lot less threatening, although a little plump in the tight bike outfits. Less black and more exercise?

Squirrel Power

2008-04-28T18:12:00.001-07:00

LA squirrels are pretty fierce. I guess they have to be to survive coyotes. One day, I was washing the dishes and noticed a squirrel was staring at me. Right through the window frame, about a foot away from me, on a large tree branch. The squirrel was checking me out — we stared at each other, eyeball to eyeball, and it said to me, narrowing its eyes and tightening its mouth, "I can take you on." And it could.

I told the Grumpy Dachshund and he thought I was just being funny. And then the other day, a squirrel took him on. You wouldn't believe how vicious this thing was. GD actually had to threaten it with a stick. I told him I wasn't exaggerating. And I also told him, "Look. Any time an animal says I can take you on, just reply, 'You certainly can.'"

Amazon Mechanical Turk

2008-04-17T10:58:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid I have to make a digression here. Have you heard of Amazon Mechanical Turk? It's sort of difficult to explain unless you've been to Amazon's page and tried doing what's know as a HIT. Basically, the site is filled with tasks which, supposedly, computers can't do. These tasks are called HITs (Human Intelligence Tasks). And these tasks are assigned to humans. And these tasks are supposed to be things like, "Look at this picture. Describe the picture. What's in the picture?" If you successfully complete the HIT, you get paid, say, a whole cent! So basically, a HIT is something that's even too demeaning for a computer to do.

Well, I got very fascinated by this and spent hours and hours browsing the HITs. Some of it is unreal. Like: this Thursday watch TV from 8pm to 11pm and transcribe all the commercials. Pay? Fifty cents!

I was surprised by how many HITs there were for copywriting. Hardly in the spirit of the original idea. And they want to pay you less than a dollar for something a freelance copywriter would probably charge twenty dollars or so for. There were also people who wanted you to submit comments to their blogs. I have a blog. I'm desperate for comments. Would I pay someone a cent to write up a comment? Tempting.

One HIT was for a recipe that used six ingredients or less. I did that one and earned fifty cents! That's pretty good money in the world of Turk and I was pumped. Overall, for about an hour of work, I made $1.26!

So all was good in the world of AMT -- until I started getting screwed. Like UQSoft + Guessnow wanted you to submit time-sensitive quiz questions. Like who will win the Pennsylvania primary. So I did two HITs. And guess what? I never heard back from them. And these questions were Time Sensitive. Got the hint, UQSoft?

You can also earn qualifications. Take tests so you can qualify for $5 jobs. So I tried to take one from some requester (that's the people asking for HITs) who wanted transcribing done. The test wouldn't download. I was further disqualified from taking their test as that counted as abandonment.

Another problem I encountered was a HIT that was so badly worded, I ended up submitted my HITs to the wrong website (they wanted it done on their website but failed to say so specifically). I was denied payment. I complained. They didn't care.

So I did what you do. I complained to Amazon. Twice. Never heard back from them. And then I looked up the Wiki article on AMT. Turns out that's just the way it is in the Glorious World of AMT. I was surprised. Because the US Amazon.com is so responsive to problems or complaints (can't say that about the UK Amazon.com who once told me there was just no way the jewel box on the CD could have shattered in transit -- well, if you stack fifty pounds of books on top, it can!). So what's the deal, Amazon? Why can't we, the suckers who perform HITs, rate the requesters? You let buyers rate the sellers on Amazon.com. Come on, give us some power -- we're only making a couple of cents a HIT. Don't you want to know about bogus HITs? What exactly is AMT all about? A way for Nigerians to make candy money? No wonder Nigerians prefer to send scam emails. (Apologies to Nigerians -- I mean no insult to you, just to AMT.) This is when the cry of UNION has to ring out.

The Tunnel of Love

2008-04-15T10:50:00.001-07:00

I'm talking about the McDonald's at Sunset and Crescent, near Laurel Canyon. It's located at a particularly torturous strip mall. To get to the McDonald's drive-thru, you have to enter a dark, narrow tunnel and drive through a maze. My husband, the Grumpy Dachshund, had christened it "The Tunnel of Love" and was always saying, "We should try out the Tunnel of Love."

Well, this morning, we finally did it. Our incentive? A flyer with tons of coupons. We went for breakfast because it's about the only thing at McDonald's we can eat without blanching. I'm still a great fan of the hash browns. (I also loved the cherry pies -- are they still around on President's Day?) With the coupons, we got

1 Cinnamon Melt
1 Egg McMuffin
1 Sausage Egg McMuffin
1 Hash Brown
1 Medium Premium Roast Coffee

all for $5.70! That's a lot of food for TV Kitty & Grumpy Dachshund -- we're still digesting.

Here's how I rate the experience.

Tunnel of Love: very claustrophobic.

Service: friendly but faulty -- gave us the wrong change but chased us down to get us the right change; cash register didn't work so we had to wait five minutes and then reorder everything.

Food:

Cinnamon Melt had the prerequisite sweetness and goo but the bread was awfully dry (it was more like a Monkey Bread, really)

Egg McMuffin and Sausage Egg McMuffin were as good as always

Hash Brown was fabulously brown and crispy

Premium Roast Coffee was too bitter and flaccid -- I don't think Starbuck's has anything to really worry about. It was strong, though. Still have a buzz. Probably why I'm bloggin'.

Total experience? We're Luvin' It.

Thai New Year Songkran Festival

2008-04-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was L.A.'s Thai New Year Songkran Festival. It was pretty darn hot, so weather wise, the festival was pretty authentic (Songkran falls during Thailand's hottest time).

For the festival, a good chunk of Thai Town's Hollywood Boulevard was cut off. I got to eat some nice BBQ from Siam BBQ, participate in the curry contest, buy a parasol, and watch some festive performances. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the Singha beer garden. And I could have used a nice, cool glass of fresh Singha. To tell you the truth, the intense, record-breaking heat, lack of shade, long lines, and the huge turnout, made it difficult to enjoy anything. And I wish the curry competition had been a bit better organized. You had to pay for a ballot, but part of the enticement was that you could try all the curries you wanted. Only some of the booths were giving out free samples and others were charging you. Very annoying since it seemed as if all the samples were going to be free. And I thought the curries would be all Thai but there were at least two Indian curry booths.

The Indian curries were fun. One booth had curries that tasted very Asian, as in Japanese and Korean. Interestingly, curry was introduced to Japan by the Brits, which explains the peculiar, sweet taste (and the Japanese introduced that brand of curry to Korea). The other Indian booth I tried tasted very British -- like a typical local curry house in most British towns. Not too surprised to find out that the owners of the booth had a restaurant in Santa Monica, the ground zero of Brit expats, I've noticed. I'd go to the restaurant because, having lived in England so long, I too get a craving for the taste of a local curry house.

I later found out that the Songkran festival is also known in Thailand as the water festival since people go around shooting at each other with water guns. Boy, do I wish I'd had a water gun. The closest I got was a kid dropping his water bottle and splashing my leg. That was so nice...

Highlights:

I got to try the subway system (the festival was right at one of the stops). Mixed feelings. Like why can't you buy a round trip ticket? If you're only going to take two trips, it doesn't make sense to buy a day ticket. So you end up buying a ticket at each leg since there isn't a validation machine (I mean, come on, that's just basic). Still, nicely air-conditioned and clean.

I finally got to buy a cloth parasol! I'd been meaning to do it for awhile. I paid a bit more than I wanted and the bamboo mechanism looks like it's going to break at any moment but I can't tell you how glad I was to have it at the festival. If I spray some UV spray on it, it'll be perfect for LA summers!

Ninja Delivery Service

2008-04-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

In L.A., packages are delivered in a cloud of mystery. No one knocks on the door. No one asks for a signature. The package is simply and quietly dropped on your doorstep. Unless it's DHL, and then the package is thrown on your neighbor's yard like it was a newspaper. The amazing thing is you never hear the delivery guy (or gal). All you know is that you open the front door and there's a package. That's why I've come to call it the Ninja Delivery Service. Once, I actually caught the UPS guy dropping the package off and I said to my husband, "That's bad luck. Now he's going to have to kill himself."

Of course if it's the US Postal Service, they don't even bother to deliver it at all. They just drop off a card saying they tried to deliver it and now you'll have to go get it yourself. That's if it's signature required. Otherwise, they just pop it on top of the mailbox for anyone to pick up. What world are they delivering in? Mayberry?

Is this a nationwide thing or just L.A.? I have to admit, I don't like it. What happens if they misdeliver a package and it's really for our next-door neighbor? We have to haul the thing to our neighbor. Much rather have UPS do it because our neighbor buys big, heavy things. And I just don't like my packages just sitting there. My packages don't like it either.

The Fauna

2008-04-08T18:02:00.000-07:00

Whenever I move to a different climate, the first thing I begin to notice are the bugs. There are a lot of weird looking bugs in L.A. Most of them fly. And have too many legs. And I've never seen so many aphids. My coat brushed a rubber plant -- a colony of aphids immediately moved house.

A nice surprise was to find that L.A. has hummingbirds. Nigel is our resident hummingbird (photo above). He's not much to look at, but boy, is he fast. He has his favorite tree and his favorite leaf, and while we eat our lunch out on the porch, he eats his. At the moment, there's some territory war going on, so poor Nigel is keeping a vigilant watch. The second he spots a possible trespasser, he whoops a war cry and chases after the perp. It's better than watching Starsky and Hutch.

Feelin' Groovy

2008-04-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

What I like about L.A.: there's such an easy friendliness here. You go to a trendy pizzeria and the hostess raves about your dress. The only compliments you'll get in NYC is from the gay guy at Saks. And then it's with a tinge of jealousy and a flavor of "I'm not complimenting you -- just your raincoat". NYC is more like Paris -- if a girl likes what you're wearing she'll maybe give you a sidewards glance or even deign to talk to you. Like the hostess at L'Atelier de Joel Robuchon who let us in on a conspiracy against an annoying guest. Of course in London no one notices what anyone else is wearing -- unless they're an expat. Too much gloom and rain and booze -- everyone has a perpetual hangover. And a holiday brochure. Fleeing Ol' Blighty is a national obsession. Eleven years stuck in the UK and you too will catch the cultural fantasy of immigrating to Australia. Maybe that's what it is -- the sun. It must do something to you in L.A. Life isn't so threatening when the sun is shining and there's this dry ambient heat like a dream of lost paradise versus the gritty, disease-ridden sauna of NYC or Seoul.

You do get occasional unpleasantness. Like when Intelligentsia first opened in Silver Lake. But then you find out the Hipster staff had been recently imported from Seattle. Probably all got sunstroke the first day. Takes time to get used to so much sun.

Trivia

2008-04-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

In L.A. rain is a natural disaster.

You need a visa to go to Koreatown.

At night, when the atmosphere is just right, the streets look surreally clear, the neon eye-piercing, the traffic lights crystal -- it's like you took some serious drugs and you can't quite trust your eyes.

Nuts

2008-03-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

For months, I've been seeing these little things scattered all over our property. I thought they were metal nuts that the plumber had unscrewed. But actually, they're some kind of nut. A real, organic nut from some tree. Could someone please tell me what they are and where they come from?

What's Not in the DMV Book

2008-03-25T19:14:00.000-07:00

Taking a left turn in LA is like playing Russian Roulette. Here's the rule: three cars to a yellow light. Traffic is so bad, it's a miracle if you get a chance to turn on a green light. And god help you if you deprive someone of their left turn. Which means an intersection with a left-turn arrow is like winning the lottery. Not that you get to fully capitalize, as you'll be stuck behind the crosswalk as you wait for all the cars to make their left from the last cycle.

You quickly learn the middle turn lane is really the UPS delivery lane.

The roads are so bad, you think you're in a third world country.

Valet parking is a scam. And they turn scarce legitimate on-street parking spaces into drop-off lanes for waiting cars. And how is strip-mall parking valet parking?

You quickly learn the value of "We Validate."

Crosswalks are like a quarter of a mile wide! But they kindly tell you how many seconds you have. And you're like, there's no way I can cross that in 12 seconds, but you can! The crosswalk near Cedars-Sinai is miles long!

The majority of drivers in LA learned to drive in some scary parts of the world. Like war-torn Lebanon.

Within a couple of weeks you'll suddenly be able to read passing ads in Spanish.

Outrunning the police on the highway is a rite of passage.

BTW, Schwarzenegger has got to hire some writers -- the DMV book is like a bad translation from Russian. I've seen Korean dramas subtitled better. Governor, I'm available.

Some Things That Have Come Up

2008-03-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

I don't like coyotes. Skunks shouldn't get run over. Driving from Laurel Canyon to Santa Monica on Sunset Boulevard has a high Oh-My-God Index. UCLA is HUGE. ABC local news is more fun. I still need lots of sweaters. No one knows what haddock is, and it's easier to get smoked tuna than smoked haddock. Must get a part time job.

Just spotted

2008-03-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

Metro bus driver. Female. Age: 30s? Bouffant hairdo. Stylish black, thick-rimmed cats eye glasses. Vibrant lime green sweater. Huge, funky matching earrings that dangled. Bright red lipstick. Driving down Sunset. For a moment, I thought she was driving a 1970s Cadillac!

Wake up, Consumers!

2008-03-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

I've been living in England for over a decade and coming back to the US has been a shock. What's happened to American products? Like Kleenex. It used to be decent. Now the basic Kleenex is so flimsy, you need to grab two. And it feels like sand paper. The extra soft one is a joke. Kleenex in the UK is still pretty decent. And they have extra strong for men. Although both countries have a problem with quality control. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a box of aloe vera Kleenex with half the box being regular. So I have to ask, why is Kleenex ripping off the US consumer? It seems like all the US consumer cares about is price. Quality? Uh -- what's that? Like I was researching simple things like vacuums and food processors and toaster ovens and hair dryers -- all the comments from previous buyers were the same: "Great product. Until it broke." Thank god for Amazon because how else would we know electric goods are only built to last three months? Or aren't fit for purpose (as they say in the UK, where consumer protection is pretty strong). I was thinking of buying a pretty expensive Kitchen Aid food processor because everyone claimed they were far superior in build quality to Cuisinart. Only the one I wanted has a shaft that's too short so if you fill the bowl to more than a quarter of its capacity with liquid, the liquid oozes out. And if you try to grate mozzarella, the cheese gets into the motor and it freezes. Permanently. When I get the money, I'm going French. The Magimix I had in the UK was fantastic. I nearly cried when I found out it wouldn't work in the US and had to give it away. (Meredith, I hope you're enjoying my food processor. I can't tell you how much I miss my Magimix.) And I went Japanese with my hair dryer (they have a great selection at that department store in Koreatown Plaza). Much more expensive -- but so is replacing a product every three months. And my hair looks great. I've been using a French one from Phillips (travel model with dual voltage) -- but apparently French hair dryers don't like the US. Constantly whines and complains. And takes forever. So French. :) (I actually like the French, but service at French department stores -- don't even try to buy anything at Fauchon.)

What happened to the days when the only things you had to worry about was American cars?

It's not like there's any real protection for consumers anymore. Warranties mean nothing. Who are you going to go to if a company doesn't honor them? Small claims court is the only real option. "Sent the product back -- never heard from the company again." See this comment over and over again on Amazon. My husband and I bought an Aerobed from Bed Bath & Beyond. When you open the box, the first thing you see is a piece of paper saying if the product breaks, don't take it back to the store. What a warning sign. When ours did spring a leak (within the first two weeks), we found a deluge of warnings against this company -- apparently, trying to return a defective product is near impossible. But we also found happy consumers who bought theirs online from BBB and got a new one immediately without even having to send the defective one back. So we bypassed the company and did the very thing they told us not to do. We went to our local BBB -- and this was four months after the purchase -- and they were more than happy to exchange or refund. What a great place! They didn't have what we wanted at that branch, so we asked for a refund, went to another branch, used our BBB coupon, and basically got a forty dollar rebate on the spot.

And what's going on with stores? Why is it so hard to find out what anything costs. Ralphs is a nightmare. Erehwon isn't great either. And their tofu packages leak. Hate, just hate, getting home, looking at the receipt, and finding out that small, innocuous package of carobs cost me over $20. And that the tofu leaked. Isn't it illegal not to have prices clearly marked on goods? Or is my head stuck in some imaginary consumer paradise?

Okay, rant over. For now.

The Personal

2008-03-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

Sooner or later, you decide on a new look. Here's mine.

1. Upgraded my eyeliner.
2. Got persuaded into a "The OC" haircut. Hair now too long and getting my neck hot and itchy. Decide not really suited for long "TV" hair. Don't have money to get it fixed.
3. Need more sunscreen: freckles and sun spots getting out of control.
4. Suddenly have an irrational desire to get a tattoo. A tiny Chinese dragon on the left hip? Or maybe a cup of coffee?

Digression:

Unlike NYC or London, you don't have to call weeks in advance to make a hair appointment. Usually can get one in 24 hours.

Even the homeless have a style statement.

Restaurants close early. Real Early.

There seems to be more good looking guys in LA than anywhere else in the world.

There really are blond surfer dudes! The LAX Avis rental center has one making balloon dogs. I got a poodle.